Sure get a bike, I like my bike too, it's a different tool.
My EUC goes hiking with me, I trolley it while I hike, I got back from that a bit ago.
I don't like the trip between my house and the trail, and the EUC makes that part fun.
Anyway sounds like it's not for you, although I wonder if you also have a car and use it for trips under 5 miles ;)
I use mine daily. I'd recommend the Nosfet Aero as a first EUC.
I usually ride mine twice a day, once to go get some groceries from walmart and once to some trails that I hike nearby.
It's a bike that you don't have to chain up
It makes it harder to hit roots and rocks while off roading, and you can turn sharper, but really no
In general the lower the pedals are to the ground the easier it is to ride and the more stable it is
The Falcon pedals here are quite high up and it makes it feel less stable. I would prefer them an inch or two lower
https://i.ibb.co/Cs2x7vtm/Screenshot-20250207-065323.png
I bought a new begode Falcon (with cryptocurrency on Ewheels.com) and this thing is a blast with the suspension. I changed the stock pads for these small pink ones.
It's got a nice simple design and is super easy to take apart. It goes about 25mph for 20-30 miles, same as my mten5.
I wouldn't recommend it as a first wheel though due to how high the pedals are. I think the mten5 or Future or A2 are better to learn on.
It's this, love it , goes 20 miles on a charge and hits 30mph
Sitting on the train on my way to friday night ride
I unsubbed from fortnine after that, he sucks now
But, the modular helmets are fine if ECE22.06 rated. They have steel latches
I mean if chooch doesn't look like a superhero in that clip, and if wrongway doesn't look awesome in this one: https://youtube.com/shorts/ZB6jR4c5kug?si=o4weo4x73Kh6_P3c then EUCs just aren't for you and that's ok
As far as safety, the main thing is that they're about 10x harder to overpower than a onewheel. You can't "nosedive" on modern EUC like a Lynx like you can on a onewheel. That's the main safety concern on self balancing wheels.
In my extensive experience with crashing PEVs, EUCs are my favorite to crash on because I'm already in the ideal crash position. I just slide it out on my knee pads and wrist guards. I've yet to suffer any injury. Onewheels have a sideways stance which makes for broken collarbones.
Newer EUCs also have redundant safety mechanisms. The Sherman L can operate even if the hall sensor fails.
They've also got suspension which makes surprise pot holes a non issue.
I love onewheels but they're definitely less safe
New riders do the "zombie" stance but idk I think it looks good once they learn to relax their arms and bend their legs
here's it today 
And here's a clip of me riding my other one
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTFD5DFJm/
I don't really care if anyone thinks I look goofy, I look great to my eyes. It feels like flying
Lol! But honestly these things have great braking power, I can stop quite fast
For me I've been riding my new mten5 around a lot. It gets about 20 miles of range and will happily cruise at 20mph (max is somewhere over 30).
I also have an ebike, escooter, and 3 other electric unicycles (EUCs) but this little ripper has been my favorite this week.
I'm genuinely curious how you could have read that and thought they was serious