iamdefinitelyoverthirteen

So they like being in the closet? Weird, letting the whole world know.

That probably depends on how you're cooking them. Runny yolk from good eggs is an order of magnitude better than the cheap eggs.

Wonderful statements.

You're supposed to stop your car for colors. You don't necessarily need to get out, but hence the rush to get there and inside before colors.

I told my partner, and she asked "Does that include the band?"

Fuck... I bank with USAA. Ugh, I guess I need to switch banks.

Oh my God, I haven't laughed this hard at a meme in a very long time. Congratulations.

Oh man, do I miss Sheetz and Wawa, especially the fried Mac n cheese, pretzel bun sandwiches, and Hoagie Fest.

...if their nukes are even able to detonate. They age out, hence why they needed to be tested so often.

Fly, yes. Detonate, ????

Oh neat. Sounds like Myst in space. Are you a prisoner? I'm guessing, on account of the orange jumpsuits.

Eh, too on the nose to be funny.