primscha

Summer break started less than a month ago, but it's feeling a bit like summer blues. One more year left and I get to graduate. It hasn't hit me.

Tried to get an internship, didn't realize that all the internship applications I was looking at were due the same day as my interview for that one internship... And didn't get the internship lol. But they seemed interested in having me apply for the fall, so we'll see! Currently in a volunteer program as a designer, so it's not like nothing's happening career wise. Plus I've been trying (with some depression hiccups) to study extra skills outside my design program, so I hope to get a bit of a leg up from my peers.

I'll most likely have two jobs next fall. The second job is basically lined up for me. ...Aaand maybe an internship on top of it. I think I'm being ambitious again and uh, we'll see what happens? (ᵒ ᵕ ᵒ٥)ゞ

Also going to Seattle next week to meet some old friends! I've never been there so I'm excited!

Worked almost 40 hours for spring break. As much as I hate working during my break, I think it's ultimately a blessing: I'm getting out of an internship that I don't like sooner rather than later.

Now it's back to the grind. Somehow got most of this week's assignments done already, but I know a couple of things that will kick my butt later this week. Hopefully it doesn't mess with me too much.

I want to get ahead and work on outside projects because I know I can't rely on my current program to help me get into my career. And I'd like to network more with the local community, but I gotta plan ahead and manage my time better, haha... Things are just rough right now with two jobs.

There are a lot of worries piling up in my head right now. I think I need to rest.

Burnout. Gotta sacrifice some of my Sundays hanging out with my bf. A lil sad bc he's the only person right now on my life that has free time(ish). 🫠 Then the rest of my week is busy. Saturdays are workdays. Mondays–Thursdays have a mix of work, schoolwork, and homework.

And I'm looking for summer internships, and trying to find skills to work on in the meantime. Not sure how much time I have to prioritize this stuff though. But uh... I need to find a job asap once I graduate. I dunno.

Life has been tough. I'm hoping summer will be easier.

Recovering from burnout. Personal life happened, an anxiety spell took over me, and school continued on. But things are slowly being put back together. I think I'll be okay. Even if at times I feel like I'm alone, I'm reminded by my friends that I'm not. Guess it's a habit to think that way. Breaking out of it.

Also I met a unicorn. Dating said unicorn. Feel very happy. c:

Hope y'all feel better soon!

Had a lovely anxiety spell take over me the past couple of days, but I'm working on solving the issues that are causing said anxieties, bit by bit. At least the weekend will start, though my internship now seeps into my weekends... Don't look forward to Saturdays as much as I used to. But Sunday, I'll be hanging out with a friend. And then I'll be hanging out with someone I really like. ⌯’▾’⌯ Trying to be optimistic and get work done so that the anxiety lessens.

I feel tired, but in a good way. Met up with more friends, ate good food, and had fun. My friends were kind enough to treat me a bit since they uh, understand my current financial position as broke college student™.

But I got good news this week: I now have two jobs! One being the internship, and the other is a student desk job (aka I get paid while doing homework type of job). It'll be busy, but it should be manageable. So I need to budget a plan to visit a friend this summer and pay some of my loans again (considering that I'll finally have some money to do so). Haha...

Other than that I've been studying again. Working on a community project for my career path, and figuring out my presidential duties for my club (club funding due date is approaching).

I still have about two weeks of break left, but it feels like my vacation is done. And honestly...I'm good with that. I feel like this was the most mentally productive break I've had in years. (-◡-◍)

Thank you for your kind words! I appreciate it ⌯’▾’⌯ I'll do my best. Life certainly feels like it's at a tipping point where things can turn out better, so everything is a mix of terrifying yet exhilarating.

The hike was awesome! I'm currently very tuckered out by it lol.

Weird, but not overly bad. Still burnt out from last semester and can't believe that it's already been a week in for winter break. Time passing has been a relief and a stressor, with me contemplating how to best use my time when most of it has been used up by me constantly napping... at least so far.

Met up with two friends. One is gonna be my coworker soon, and we really got along! Hung out for about eight hours chatting... He might be in charge of me and the rest of the interns though, so we'll see how our hangouts go in the future. We plan on hiking before he has to return to work.

Christmas has been interesting. My parents made a croissant filled with Nutella and sausages. Random quips and complaints thrown about. No big fight though, so that's nice. We almost had no gifts because my mom was worried about money, but decided to shop the day before Christmas Eve since I was going out anyway to meet my friend. I reminded her about my wishlist (the third or fourth reminder) because I didn't want her to randomly buy me clothes that I would never wear for the umpteenth time.

I'm beginning to think that I need to slowly take over the cooking and baking in this household. And driving. And cleaning. I mean, it's a household of adults and aging parents. I want things to get better, but I need to create a plan with my siblings — which won't be happening soon, because everyone is having their own struggles with depression and finances. .-.

I didn't mean to make this existential. But Christmas is my reminder of the good and bad times with family. I hope to have a Christmas that reminds me of why I used to love this holiday... I'm trying to make the best of this break without letting my worries get to me.

Edit: I forgot to add in the midst of my rambling. Happy holidays, everyone! I hope y'all are doing well and/or are making it through this time of year.

Hope you make a complete recovery soon!

Winter break is about to start! ⌯’▾’⌯ And I'll eat sushi today with a couple friends as a reward for all the hard work.

I'm excited to pet my dog. (-◡-◍)

We got another email clarifying the situation, and they state to submit "anticipated funding requests." I'm just skeptical because I know the student union can be messy, and my club is fairly new. I'm sure it'll be fine, it's just... pretty abrupt. I also just feel pretty tuckered out, so I'm complaining. (ᵒ ᵕ ᵒ٥)ゞ

Turns out they did spend all their money from this semester. ._. I can't exactly blame them on that though. I've heard there have been more budget cuts.

Long update ._.

I got the internship offer! ✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧ One step towards my dream career! I haven't processed it yet. I haven't processed any festive vibes, either.

I blame this lack of processing on the semester being a train wreck. Last school year was like a bus hit me. This year...train.

Drama! ಥ_ಥ Burnout! ( ꒦ິ◡꒦ີ) Homework hell! ತ_ತ Long class hours! (☍◡⁰) No money or work! ¯_(ツ)_/¯

As always, whenever I reminisce on my growth (pains), there's a heavy amount of regret and gratitude for those grueling moments. I can't believe this period of my life is almost over. And now I'm moving on to the next phase of my life, building my career.

It's funny... A few years back, I would never have thought I'd make it this far. I didn't think I had a future. I couldn't imagine one. And yet I made a choice to go to uni— and everything slowly but surely began to change in my life for the better. Just because I kept... trying to make better choices for myself once I found a safer environment to be in.

I mean it was hard. Becoming a board officer for a volunteering club, getting into my program, reviving another club and becoming president, working when I could, finding my own projects outside of the program to work on... In these moments where I often felt like I was dying, it looks like I was actually living lol. Does that make sense?

(Anyways, enough with the sentimental stuff. Though it's warm and fuzzy.)

My winter break doesn't seem like much of a break, so I'm somewhat concerned.

• the student union implemented a new funding process in which all clubs need to know their funding needs throughout the entirety of next semester. They told us this just a few days ago. Do they seriously expect us to plan out each event and to properly predict things far in advance? And during school break? Honestly, they probably spent all their funding this semester .-. but this...is not a smart solution.
• I'll be studying html/css for my internship as a just in case. It's a very interdisciplinary job (which I love ⌯’▾’⌯). But it's mainly about using Figma and prototyping.
• gotta catch up on my Figma learning and practice making UI components!
• need to work with a developer on a website redesign for a nonprofit!
• will be working on an MFA full res and low res ad campaign.

But... There should be room to have fun in all that, right? ( ᵒ ᵕ ᵒ ) I wanna hang out with a friend and good god I need a break.

I finally hit a small moment of freedom from school. For the first time in months I can breathe, just a bit, from burnout. Although there's more to be done, the most important tasks vanished from my sight... for now. ;-;

Did an internship interview and it went really well! I ended up talking to one interviewer afterwards for thirty minutes, and I got the vibe that I'm one of their better candidates. I'll know if I got it by the next or following week.

Cut off my friend who was an 'ex.' It was relieving. Words cannot describe the exasperation, confusion, and disappointment I felt about him throughout the whole relationship, including pre/post romantic period. Trying to clarify communication/boundaries/issues with him felt like constipated diarrhea and the Jackie Chan meme on repeat.

I'll be celebrating my Mom's bday tomorrow which just so happens to land on Thanksgiving. Had Friendsgiving last week. ⌯’▾’⌯