volvoxvsmarla

It's twins actually, Lulu and Nana. The gene editing might have increased their cognitive function.

I don't know why, but I cannot bring myself to condemn the editing.

Ok I could have grasped that

In our school in Germany there was an observation: students who do well in math usually have somewhat worse grades in statistics. While students who were bad at math often did better in statistics.

In grade 12 and 13 it went like algebra, statistics, geometry, geometry (per semester). Basically, you either got A B+ A A, or D B- D D.

Writing this down I realize they should absolutely make a statistical analysis on these results.

To be fair, I have no idea what a CPU is

Are you friends with Dave?

Honestly, the judgement of parenting is not my main issue here. It's the hypocrisy of at the same time saying "this is your problem, not mine" and "you have to deal with your problem so that I am not inconvenienced."

Like, you can't have it both ways. Either you don't care, and then other people deserve the right to also not care about your opinion, or you do indeed care, and then it is your problem too. Your quote about not being part of the village is the one that I am saying fuck off to. You want to take yourself out of society and of the context, yet expect the other part to not take themselves out of society. You don't even decide to look away, you decide to look with destructive criticism. I don't see how this is supposed to help anyone, you included.

You come off as the type of person who will look at both the kid and the parent in disdain for being a nuisance even when they did something absolutely minor that you could easily avoid, ignore, or get away from. Are you assuming the kid will differentiate between your reaction towards them and their parent? Or that your reaction has no effect on the parent's treatment of their child, perhaps in a more negative than positive way?

As for the judgement part, as I have pointed out somewhere else, you are seeing a sniplet of a day, of a life, of an hour. Yet you feel like you have enough information to rightfully judge. It's correct that the kid might be subjected to bad, neglectful parenting and the parents do not care if their kid behaves awfully. Or you might have just met them in a vulnerable, bad moment. Somehow you know tho. Why not give them the benefit of the doubt or, God forbid, ask whether yoh can help? Offer a supporting smile to someone struggling? Why be hostile instead?

Because even if you took a perfect parent who does everything according to textbook from beginning to end, the kid will still have meltdowns in the most inconvenient and absurdly embarrassing moments in public.

And I have seen way too many parents who devote an insane amount of time and effort to their parenting, are reflected and have the best intentions and approaches, are incredibly level headed and collected (definitely not me tho), and give it their all, still being talked down upon by absolute strangers if they cannot make their preschool kid calm down within ten seconds. If these parents don't stand a chance in the eye of public scrutiny, then I just don't even know how a normal parent who doesn't spend 24/7 thinking about their parenting choices has a chance.

I've also seen cases of what I would call bad parenting. Shaming, yelling, ignoring cries for help. But at least I can realise that I don't know the full story. So unless I have a direct offer of help (tissue, water, bandaid, carrying something, etc) I let them be and hope that they know what they are doing and handling the situation to the best of their ability. I also know a kid who died of shaken baby syndrome because the new partner of their mom couldn't handle the cries. I'd much prefer he ignored the cries and tantrums instead of killing the two year old boy.

I can't find where the yoga pants part was supposedly said

Judgement is only partially the problem. You are never as full of yourself as a parental figure as before you become one. Neglectful parents should be held accountable, that is not the core of the issue.

What bothers me immensely is the thought that "your kid, not my problem, but actually it is my problem, because I want them to behave differently". This is like eating your cake and have it too.

The other thing that I find awful is that just existing on the outside (for some families even inside) is so anxiety evoking because of all these judgements. Parents end up micromanaging their kids and berating them for minor things because they are so fucking scared that people will judge them or yell at them for not having a picture perfect child that you can overlook. Children are not allowed to show any childish behavior on the outside. And this is what bothers me so much. You have to constantly choose between supporting your kid and gentle (not neglectful) parenting where you don't yell or hit and simply being on their side or trying to appeal to the scrutiny of the public eye because it wants perfect order and quiet.

When you go vacationing in a child friendly country (looking at you, Croatia) and you feel supported instead of frowned upon for the exact same behaviors of your kid, because they are just having fun and not destroying anything and just minding their own business while not perfectly sitting still, then you just understand how shitty it is to go every day feeling the cold stare of everyone around who wished children would just die out.

It's interesting you point that out. It seems it shows the grip of Reddit and Lemmy as well. Since I am not in the US I am not in touch with their regular news outlets and media. I've never seen the Dem shooter before. Somehow he wasn't that talked about.

So, I know this is weird, but... About a year ago, we had to call an exterminator (we had bacon beetles in our new apartment). He saw my tupperware storage of everything that's not in the fridge and not in a sealed container from the supermarket and in awe called me a role model. Best compliment I ever got. It was so reassuring. I am still so proud.

I'm very scared of insects, especially their, uhm, "long children", so I have been very thorough with boxing everything in sealed containers for a long time. You won't find a loose noodle or a bag of flour in my apartment. I'm not the tidiest or cleanest person, but I am not feeding potential tiny roommates.