After a decade and becoming disillusioned with the academy, I'm using my time to reengage with what brings me meaning. I'm leaning towards applying my research and literature review skills to documentary or fact checking work. It would bring meaning and help me contribute to knowledge in a way that's not accessible nor impactful in academia. I would appreciate insight into how to approach this change. I also care to share my story that brought me here so you can understand my trajectory and thought process.
Engineering a Historian - Or Not
When I was a kid, I was absolutely in love with history. I was abnormal in that I preferred nonfiction books about Rome or The American Civil War, OG history channel and TLC, over fiction or cartoons. I visited museums and went to battlefields for fun. I lived and breathed the stuff, even in games I learned so much from Shogun and Rome Total War, Caesar II and III, and Lords of the Realm. My father was not supportive. There was no money in history. I would never be successful. He was a serial entrepreneur, and serial failure at it. Always trying to out perform, chase the next idea, and push me to be wealthy and successful at all costs. He set me up for failure by refusing to help with anything but pursuing money. He refused to support a university for history and pushed me to go to a school for the burgeoning IT field. I. Hated. It. I switched to history in that school, which was definitely not known for it. Rebellion continued as I joined the military (before 9-11, as in doing ROTC on 9-1...great timing), and promptly burned out and lost direction after two deployments and disillusionment.
After the military, which was not a good time for my soul or mind, I was accepted into school on a history MA PhD track. I thought the post 9-11 GI bill would cover it, was told it would, but upon a review an administrator in Oklahoma (of all places) said I didn't qualify and denied it. I appealed. Denied. That's a story for another time. So, I dropped out before I started. Started working in a service industry, did well, started teaching for a trade association in it, and when I decided to seek an advanced degree, I wanted to study the disasters and emergencies that harmed so many people in my work - earthquakes, yeah, but also modern day slavery. Commodities for those wondering, coffee.
Ten years after dropping out of an MA PHD track, I got a PhD in Policy Analysis. I got to teach, research, publish. Now I am watching the field and higher end crumble away. Fighting so hard for so long only to watch the same callous administrators maintain their roles yet cut student resources and faculty was a huge hit. Watching grants disappear and colleagues I admire consider suicide after burning out just solidified it all for me - its time to go and get back to the core idea - teaching and helping people learn while doing what I've loved since I was a kid.
That's where I am. I'd be happy in a museum writing programming, doing fact checking for history and analysis youtubers/podcasters, or working on documentary teams. I could spend the rest of my days happily combing documents and archives because I love engaging with the past. How to get into that and prove I'm capable, well, that's another thing. Any advice or ideas are welcome. Thanks all.
