this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2025
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This comment is not meant to come off as judgemental, so I hope it doesn't. I know that many other relationships function differently, but I cannot comprehend long term partners that do not want to combine everything. My partner is my partner, full stop, in all ways. There is no "splitting" because the money she earns and the money I earn is just our money. We budget together, we discuss purchases together, we shop together.
My wife and I have been sharing finances and everything forever. But many people don't and it really feels like it's because they half know it's not going to work out. So they just don't bother committing.
Honestly, to me even watching people do that whole "we share everything, we have no secrets, we completely gave up our own personality" routine is incredibly creepy. I wouldn't want a partner who expects the relationship to replace literally everything in their life, that sounds exhausting. Not to mention that I am definitely not going to share everything someone else tells me in confidence with any partner, those are not my secrets to share.
Matter of taste. With my last husband, we just placed both our salaries into a shared account, took all the expenses out of it, then split the remainder 50/50. Each one could do whatever they wanted with their half, and we even had a flex account for house expenses that weren't covered in the original expenses calculation, and it worked great.