seems like we can’t decide if it’s genuinely offensive or not. I have some social circles where saying it would be almost like saying homophobic/racist slurs, but other social circles that throw it around as a synonym of “idiot/lunatic”

I don't think it's a lack of decisiveness. It's just some people are very slow to adapt. Like some people still used "that's gay" as an insult into the 2010s...or worse, used the f-slur in much the same way the r-slur is being used here. Heck, a prominent player of one of my favourite games used the f-slur in that way in just 2020. It was a relatively big scandal and I think he was briefly banned from streaming sites, but frankly as far as I'm concerned being that far behind the general public in adapting to that sort of change indicates a degree of homophobia that should not be considered acceptable.