this post was submitted on 05 Jul 2025
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Some people are just really passionate about their tiny yellow plastic toy soldiers all having imaginary penises. The penises are important to them. They can't bear to imagine a Legio Custodes that doesn't have a full armament of cock.
This is why I either went with Chaos (during my adolescence, mostly outgrew them) or Aeldari. I mean, they aren't that much better from a lore perspective, but at least they give everyone a chance to suffer equally...
What I also appreciate about Chaos is that their writers know they're evil. I swear the people writing loyalist books forget that the Imperium is basically as bad as the rest in its own way.
Very much, yes! Chaos is the clearest, most stable faction in the entire lore in terms of characterisation and intent!
Honestly, I think the ambiguity behind the Imperium's portrayal stems from a sort of pandering to the popularity of the faction itself, maybe even to blunt the sharpness a bit, make it more accessible to new inductees. Easier to sell a "slightly Theo-Fascistic" galactic empire than "we need to sacrifice literally thousands of people marked as Other to a corpse and, yes, corpse starch is exactly what it says on the tin. Oh, and we'll need to lobotomise about 10000 of you because our biotoxin planet-wiping nukes need polishing."
It's a pity, because that's exactly what drew me into 40k to begin with, that feeling of "wow, this stuff's beyond horrific, my morbid curiosity is tickled seventy shades of pink!"
What about their penises?
I'm sure Fabulous Bill has a couple of attachments that would make even Slaanesh blush.
Never asked!😕
Let me interject with my unasked opinion:
Aa far as I'm concerned the trouble started when we stopped calling it fluff and started calling it lore (and treating it with such reverance) instead.
And Tolkien's Legendarium is just a bunch of hastily-written bedtime stories for Chris, right?
Oh, no, with literally hundreds of books' worth of backstory beyond all of the "your headcanon is valid" bits, we are well and truly beyond simple fluff.
Fluff is those 3 paragraphs of contextual flavour text you get on the back of a board game box.