this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2025
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Witches VS Patriarchy

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[–] MystValkyrie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

This is one of those areas that make me think social media was a mistake.

Humans exaggerate. Humans are sometimes imprecise with language, especially when they've been hurt. Humans aren't poised and composed 100% of the time. This applies to both women who have been hurt by men and say they "hate them," and the men who take the words literally. But social media kind of moved conversations that were once in private or semi-private in-person spaces out in the open. It relies on these misunderstandings to fuel retention time and boost ad exposure.

In those in-person spaces, you could feel really depressed and tell other women "I hate men" to mean "I hate how men treat me," and you'd have a really understanding environment and feel supported without bringing in waves of hurt, defensive men.

This post is nice, and it is wonderful when male allies read the message and not the words themselves. I hope more choose that approach in the future. But I don't think this problem will ever go away, not as long as we choose social media as the place where the message is sent. I will say I am more sympathetic about women here, since the "I hate men" declaration nearly always comes from a man doing something genuinely hurtful, whereas defensiveness over "I hate men" comes from taking the words too literally.

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

taking the words too literally

That's how words work.

[–] untorquer@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Words in a dictionary out of context, sure, but in a conversation we are using words to express ourselves and additional input such as body language is used to develop interpretation. The meaning changes in context and delivery. Common examples include sarcasm, hyperbole/exaggeration, double entendre, and so on.

A more developed example would be: When someone days "you ALWAYS do X", the truth that you don't is immediately obvious. That suggests they're speaking from a place of emotion and that "ALWAYS" can therefore be interpreted as "too often for my liking".

[–] yardratianSoma@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

but that's the thing, using generalizations are harmful when speaking about personal feelings. I would much rather hear "You did X, Y and Z and it makes me feel bad" rather than "I hate everything you do".

I always know where women come from when they say "men are trash" or "I hate men", but I can't say it doesn't hurt sometimes because my gut reaction to a generalization is "oh, they are so hurt they can't even speak on specifically what hurt them, so I guess I'm just trash for now until further notice"

[–] untorquer@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

"oh, they are so hurt they can't even speak on specifically what hurt them, so I guess I'm just trash for now until further notice"

The hardest part is not internalizing. They're trusting you enough to complain to you, so you're obviously not trash to them. It should only be, "oh, they are so hurt they can't even speak on specifically what hurt them."