this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2025
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General Memes & Private Chuckle
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I can do this too.
Cats can communicate with ants by using quantum transmitters located in their butts to grant wishes, and I know this because my cousin Tommy once fucked a cat in the ass and a colony of fire ants granted his for Anne jet ski.
Every cat is fluent in Persian and Ojibwe and every cat, everywhere, knows when a person pees, who they are, and where they're peeeing.
They possess an emotion humans can't feel called sploofnury.
Cats killed Jesus.
All cats are actually the fruiting bodies of a rare kind of quantum mycelium. I've seen it by using x ray goggles I found on the bus so it's definitely true.
I once saw a cat quoting Shakespeare, in Ojibiwe, but it stopped when it saw me.
Cats don't actually die, they just turn into pillows when they've killed enough small animals.
You’re really bummed out about animals not liking you, huh?