this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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I came here around the time the rif app shut down, and the general vibe I get from this place is much more negative than when I joined. Is Lemmy growing more toxic or is it just my imagination?

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[–] Dagnet@lemmy.world 40 points 2 days ago (3 children)

For sure. I posted content on selfhosted for the first time and got called a "filthy boomer" because it was a screenshot, then people basically told me to grow thicker skin went I complained. Why be better than reddit huh? Guess people just want reddit 2.0

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I would actually compare it to Slashdot 3.0, but your sentiment stands.

[–] No1@aussie.zone 1 points 2 days ago

Look, unless you have functional code included in your comment, or are Richard Stallman, it's just not worth reading!

[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 0 points 2 days ago (2 children)

"Why can't everyone just be nice to each other all the time" is what lead us to where we are.

I'm not arguing for being an asshole but when you force everyone to be kind all the time online you get people that are empowered to and motivated to wrap up abhorrent shit in a pleasing package. Racist dog whistles, selfish political propaganda, etc.

I'm not saying that applies here but I DO think it's important that people are allowed to be assholes online. The internet really started its descent when people started putting bubble wrap on everything.

You're free to engage or not to.

People have become so used to echo chambers and safe spaces that they forget what things were like when they didn't exist. And it was better.

You SHOULD be encountering assholes online and encountering opinions you disagree with regularly, because that is the real the world.

[–] Holytimes@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago

Toxic positivity is how you get the worse shit. If you can't call someone else a fucker and move on then there's too much protection for the truly deranged.

There's a large gap between being rude and being Hitler but many places online seem to forget this and treat all forms of negativity as equally extreme and it just results in the worse psychopaths who understand how to mask to have the loudest platform.

[–] 1984@lemmy.today -2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Nice to see another person who understands this. They want their social media experience to not make them feel anything negative, and loves their bubble where everyone agrees with them, despite it being a false, curated, forced experience.

When someone writes something they dont agree with, they go into keyboard warrior mode and either tries to put the person down with downvoting and insults, or mod reporting, which is similar to running to dad and crying about someone being bad.

Its like people refuse to grow up today. Argue for your opinion, stop censoring and pushing down opinions you dont agree with.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

FWIW my entire life i've known people who do this shit IRL. My college campus was rife with people like this.

My daily life is also regularly full of people like this.

[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca -1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Exactly.

Being exposed to people that believe differently than you challenges your own beliefs, and theirs.

When women started opening about the bullshit they dealt with, a lot of people listened. Some didn't, but a lot of people did. Some men said "hey, you know, now that you mention it, there's some kind of fucked up shit about being a guy, too".

Anyone that had ever engaged with any real feminist theory or any facet of gender studies said: you're absolutely right. Everyone else completely drowned them out.

The internet around that time largely had the response of "shut up, the women are talking". Not all of it, not everyone, but it was very common.

Some men kept patiently listening, others stopped listening and started talking, others stopped listening, got angry, and started yelling. Some were never listening at all.

Now we have hordes of young misogynistic racist shitheels who may have been receptive to other points of view once but are now so firmly entrenched in their shiftiness it may never change. And they've found nice cozy places to whip their impotent rage into a society-destroying frenzy. It festered in critical mass, quietly, until it built up a level where it could burst open like a cyst.

The lesson here has nothing to do with gender, but highlights the importance of LISTENING TO PEOPLE, and being exposed to their viewpoints while exposing them to yours. Even the most vocal, selfish, pigheaded, racist conservative has legitimate concerns driving some of their shittiness: fear of uncertainty over the future, economic uncertainty, poverty, lack of education, fear of death. None of these things validate the shittiness but they do explain and they're the levers by which these views change.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world -3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

And I totally disagree with that narrative.

Because in my experience I listened, but then was guilty of the crime of pre-rape. And then i stopped listening to feminists. Being male and doing anything male-coded was a crime to them. Popular feminism decided men were evil. Full stop.

then 10 years later... many of those very same feminists are now preaching 1950s subordination to their husband and God and many are of them anti-trans advocates. Every feminist I went to grad school with became everything she claimed to hate in her 20s. And icing on the cake, they would inherent tons of money from their parents and start lecturing others to grow up and work hard like they did...

wtf is 'real' feminist theory, btw? feminist theory has 100s of flavors.

[–] 1984@lemmy.today -5 points 2 days ago

Sure, they may have decided men are evil but so what. We arent, obviously. Men are actually much nicer to eachother than women are.

Let them talk, its a good warning signal who has air in their head and who has some brains.

[–] ski11erboi@lemmy.world -2 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I mean honestly filthy boomer to a screenshot is kind of hilarious.

[–] Quexotic 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Maybe they're not telling us that the screenshot was taken with a Nokia and sent to email over their sms to email bridge?

[–] Dagnet@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Was a simple screenshot of a Discord announcement since they didnt have any links

[–] P1nkman@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Yeah, I'm gonna stop taking screenshots and use an analogue camera to capture my screen, then run to the photo printing shop, stop by the hobby store for some tracking paper, and track the photo. Scan that bad boy, and Bob's your uncle!

Now what would I then be called by these keyboard warriors?

[–] LemmyThinkAboutIt@lemmy.zip 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] P1nkman@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

Shit. You're on to me...