Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
They bought you thing they were sure you would like and tought they were thoughtful. Maybe they expected other kind of reaction and depending how you declined it, it very well may feel like you threw their nice thing against their face.
To most people, especially the spouces it may not be about the present, but the idea behind it. Like i dont generally think my wife knits very good socks. If i would go shopping socks my self i would never pay anything for that quality product. But i know my wife thinks i need to keep my feets warm and she is thinking me when she makes them. Saying her socks are bad would not be review of the product, but attack against her.
I would say just swallow your pride and use the newer nicer thing and thank them for thinking about you, but say in the future you want to get similiar things yourself.
They were not thoughtful if they tried to replace something that has enough value to the person that they actually love it more than a new version of the same thing.
They wanted to replace something that clearly didn't need replacing but thought it would "look" better ignoring completely a well established pattern and preference for not having new things just because they are new.
The reaction to asking it to be returned and being hurt by it is manipulative and the entire thing is completely condescending
I disagree.
From what op wrote i dont get any malice from the spouces gift. I belive they sincerelly tried to do nice thing.
Would you not be hurt if you really tought you did a nice thing to your loved one and were scolded for it? I completelly understand how it might have upsetted the spouce.
Thats why i would accept the gift and very carefully tell the other side they should not do it again.
The only information started was (I wanted to return it)
Why are you claiming the partner was being scolded? We don't know that happened
The last weekend almost the entire post expressing how confusing the gift was because of how obvious it is to them that the spouse had enough information to know they wouldn't appreciate the gift.
I'll accept that there is a lot we dont know so I'm only responding to what was presented in the post and attempting to accept it as is.
Please, I'll actually listen, where did you get any impression of how the partner was scolded by op.