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176

Please help me under stand my spouse's gift and their hurt (lemmy.zip)

submitted 4 days ago by GrayBackgroundMusic@lemmy.zip to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

234 comments fedilink hide all child comments

For my birthday, my spouse got me a nicer newer expensive version of a thing I already have. The one I have is older and dented but works just fine. I use it weekly. I never complain about it. I've never asked for a newer one. The one I have was given to me by my mother in law, whom I adore. It's sentimental.

I don't like new things. When they got me a 3d printer, it was the cheapest one and it was a kit and I had to build myself. I loved it. It's perfect for me. I regularly buy things used or get things from Buy Nothing groups. I much prefer to repair old things in many ways. My car has over 100k miles. The one before did too. I don't like new things.

We got into a huge argument because I want to return it. They are so upset with me that they left the house to calm down. Why am I the bad person? Why are they mad at me? I have a very clear tendency for old broken used things. Why am I obligated to like this new thing?

We literally established a rule early in our marriage. I'm not allowed to gift nerdy t shirts. They don't like them. I love them. I thought they would like them but they do not. So they asked me to stop. This feels the same. I do not like new things. Why am I the bad guy for wanting to return the newer version of the thing I already have?

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[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That's totally fair that you don't think it fits, but I don't think the other user was out of line for suggesting it might.

[–] M1ch431@slrpnk.net 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I feel that suggesting diagnosis is warranted if OP suggested that they might need that level of help and support, suspected autism themselves and was forward about that, or was otherwise having a difficulty commonly associated with the standard diagnostic criteria of autism e.g. OP was having sensory issues.