this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2025
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I do not have kids and it took me a while to realize I didn't want them. I was severely abused growing up and I had to assume the role of mother for my two siblings that are 8 and 11 years younger than me. I was expected to be a mother so I wasn't allowed to have an education. I didn't actively dream about having kids it was just an assumed thing for me based on my to upbringing.
My mom taught me that I should strive to get attention and approval from men so I latched onto the first guy that gave it to me. Luckily he's amazing and we've been together for 23 years and married for 18. He never once tried to force children on me, he would have had them with me if I wanted them. I think he secretly didn't want kids but was too afraid to admit it.
I did become pregnant 3 years into our marriage and I had a literal mental breakdown over it. So bad that he immediately helped me get an abortion. This was a huge thing because he was raised to be extremely religious and an abortion is basically murder to them. From that day we formally agreed that we'll never have children and we have been very happy with that decision.
As I am creeping up to the point of no return in regards to fertility I do sometimes wonder if I made the right decision. Sometimes I wish I got to experience pregnancy but I know it's a fomo feeling or possibly instinctual. My body was created to have babies and I kind of want to know what it's like but I know I don't want the outcome. All of my friends have kids and I've witnessed their pregnancies so it makes sense I'd feel like this.
In the end I feel zero regrets no matter what my biological instincts whisper into my ear. I get to live my best life and care for animals instead of humans. I am not beholden to anyone but my sweet husband and I'd never have it any other way. I have single handheldly broken the chain of generational trauma in my bloodline. My siblings are also child free and I take credt for my influence on that 😈