this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2025
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If we are calling out ‘toxic masculinity’ as a society, then why do public responses to softer versions of masculinity shift between curiosity, irony and judgment?

Intro:

Across TikTok and university campuses, young men are rewriting what masculinity looks like today, sometimes with matcha lattes, Labubus, film cameras and thrifted tote bags.

At Toronto Metropolitan University, a “performative male” contest recently drew a sizeable crowd by poking fun at this new TikTok archetype of masculinity. The “performative man” is a new Gen Z term describing young men who deliberately craft a soft, sensitive, emotionally aware aesthetic, signalling the rejection of “toxic masculinity.”

At “performative male” contests, participants compete for laughs and for women’s attention by reciting poetry, showing off thrifted fashion or handing out feminine hygiene products to show they’re one of the “good” guys.

Similar events have been held from San Francisco to London, capturing a wider shift in how Gen Z navigates gender. Research shows that young men are experimenting with gender online, but audiences often respond with humour or skepticism.

This raises an important question: in a moment when “toxic masculinity” is being called out, why do public responses to softer versions of masculinity shift between curiosity, irony and judgment?

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[–] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Not really a new phenomenon. I remember kids doing the same thing in the 90's and 00's, but it wasn't named as such.

Harder to write articles titled "Men still trying to attract partners using a variety of techniques" tho

[–] otters_raft@lemmy.ca 3 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

It's a popular term that's being thrown around right now, and the younger men that are a part of that discussion didn't go through it in the 90s and 00s. I've been seeing it a lot in the university-aged spaces. It's complicated further right now by the discussion around stuff like DEI, since that's also being labelled as being "performative"

Still, it IS helpful to show young men that this isn't a new conversation. The article implies that, but it could have mentioned it explicitly

[–] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 20 hours ago

I don't recall there being a phrase to categorically describe men who falsely ascribed "softer" traits to attract women from those times, tho I remember women saying they wanted a more "sensitive" man, and men trying to demonstrate that they were "sensitive" through similar ways.

I do remember sensitive men, either performative or genuine, getting homophobic pejoratives hurled at them, tho. So some things change some things stay the same.