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Tbh I don't even feel safe re-visiting, unless I get magically body-swapped into a white dude or something.
From what I've heard, ethnic Chinese holding foreign citizenship still effectively gets treated as Chinese. I'm more likely to get exit-banned than some random white dude.
Also, I kinda feel sus about my parents. They jokingly threatened to send me back to China because "The West" is becoming "harmful" to me... I'm like... bitch what you mean... you literally brought me here, the fuck?
I read some news about involuntary psychiatric treatments and I'm just terrified af. I'm pretty sure they have connections back home.
My fear is that, and to be clear, this is just my own fears, not saying that this will happen, but I fear that my parents could get me exit-banned and bribe some corrupt doctor to declare me insane or something and force involuntary ECT or someshit like that and wipe my memories of their emotional abuse/neglect. But again, that's just my fears, I hope they aren't secretly that controlling/manipulative.
Here in the US, they are nobodys, they don't have the Guanxi to do weird things, so its harder for them to weaponize the government's tentacles against me. Things have to go through the courts and unlike China, they can't just do involuntary treatments without a court order.
Sometimes my mom forgets we're in the US and still try shenanigans with the court system, I've seen it first hand, fucking crying in court because she got an unfavorable judgement. Bruh, shenanigans don't work here. (not unless you're part of the 1%, which we are not)
Sounds like you need to move out. Maybe try a flatshare if money is tight
Keeping enemies close in case I want revenge.
If I leave, I would never be able to gain such close access to fuck shit up. xD
But seriously tho, this is on of the problems of known danger vs unknown dangers, I know who these people are, I can plan accordingly. I don't think living with stangers as roommates would help my mental health. I tried living on campus once, my depression went from 10/100 to 110/100. So I had to withdraw.