this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2025
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Trans people get both deliberately and accidentally misgendered all the fucking time. They're subject to ongoing legal persecution and discrimination, and people barely give half a shit, but someone dares call a straight guy gay, and the internet suddenly needs to come out in full force to defend the rights of the poor, discriminated straight men who have it oh so hard in society, and literally compare it to the plight of a trans person getting misgendered.
Equating misgendering a trans person and calling a straight person gay is like equating calling a recent white south African immigrant a Boer and calling a black south African the N-Word. Just because both are shitty behaviour, doesn't mean they're comparable.
When we get into infighting where we're scorekeeping who has it worse, we're playing their game.
It's not infighting or scorekeeping to point out that by and large trans people in western countries, at the moment, face far more identity based hate, discrimination and persecution than straight people do.
It's also not infighting to point out the hypocrisy in people on the internet and broader society, outside of explicitly curated trans friendly spaces, regularly getting far more outraged at cis het people receiving hate or discrimination or shitty behaviour for their identity, than they do for the ongoing legal and social persecution of trans people.
Pointing that out is also isn't defending shitty behaviour towards straight people. Poking at the insecurities of anyone is unacceptable. But in my opinion, equating the two as similarly bad, is demeaning, insulting and belittling towards the massive struggles trans people face.
Then don't fight someone who makes absolutely true statement and is justified in saying it. Stop playing their game.