I hope this is okay to post here. My (F) relationship with my wife (F) is wonderful except for household issues. The thing I want to talk/vent about here is me trying to cook meals for the past two years while navigating our incompatible palates.
I gave up being a vegetarian when I moved in with her, because she doesn't like most vegetables or any mock meats, so chicken unlocked a rare protein that we agree on beyond just eating bean burritos every day. She doesn't eat as much beef as she used to, so I wasn't the only person who gave things up.
She would probably be happy eating scrambled eggs without any sides or fast food for dinner every day, and I need something more nutritionally balanced to feel nourished. So I'm the one who cooks every day.
We've tried compromising every which way, coming up with new meal plans, researching recipes for hours, and I feel like I've made hundreds of meals she's disliked. It feels like she only likes my cooking when it's unhealthy and lacks vegetables, which is great sometimes, but not every day. It's really gotten to me, and I've lost my love of cooking and my self-confidence in the kitchen. Most of all, I'm extremely stressed out about dinner every night.
We're at the point where we're talking about making our own meals, other than a few of my less-than-healthy comfort food recipes she likes. It's probably the most harmonious way to live, but the idea has me feeling really sad because cooking for others is a love language, and I learned to do this in the first place because I always dreamed of cooking for whoever I ended up marrying.
TL;DR My wife and I can't agree on meals we both like. I do all the cooking in the relationship, but now we're talking about making separate dinners. This is painful because cooking for others is a love language and I feel like I've failed.
Update: I really appreciate all the kind words and advice. I definitely don't plan to make it a habit to use this community as a space to vent, but you're all wonderful and I appreciate you. 😃
I am not a woman but I do 99% of the cooking in my house so maybe can help here. The four in my family have different palates so I’ve learned to make modular dishes. I like spicy when no one else does so I do that on the side. One kid doesn’t like cheese so I’ll leave it off his portion. The wife and I were keto for a long time so I’d make a common sauce and serve noodles to put it on for the kids and veggies to put it on for us. I also found ways to make healthier versions of some things like home made taco seasoning and no sugar added spaghetti sauce.
I have also found a list of things we all like that I can keep stocked to prepare more often. I try to rotate each other’s favorites into the schedule periodically too. Every night every person has something they can eat, most of the time they can enjoy it, and occasionally they get their favorite.
Hey, thanks for commenting! This is a trans+ inclusive women's only community, hope you understand. Have a nice day 🥰