this post was submitted on 19 Dec 2025
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No Lawns

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An anonymous neighbor wanted to control the appearance of my yard without speaking directly to me. So whoever they are, they filed a report that I have weeds and I was cited.

I wanted to understand what law was being used against me, so I looked it up. It turns out the law is in a body of statutes covering health and public safety. So my 1st thought is: that’s bizarre.. an ugly plant is a health issue?

WTF is a “weed”?

In common language most people are making a value judgment by regarding ugly plants as weeds. But the legal definition is not so subjective. It’s plants that have toxins and allergens. So things like Poison Ivy. The law names 6 or so examples but is not limited to those.

So the law is perhaps reasonably written to control health hazards, not so people can control the appearance of other people’s property. But the enforcers were either clueless about this or they were intellectually dishonest in hopes that those cited would naively create a pretty landscape for the demanding neighbor without first reading the law.

I might have been willing to do a landscape had the process of telling me the yard looks ugly not been as rude as sending cops to bully me.

A citation generally saying “you have weeds” is likely typically a false accusation. They should be writing on the citation exactly which plant specie is toxic or hazardous, just as a speeding ticket says how fast you were measured at.

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[–] perestroika@slrpnk.net 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

At one time, a local parish sent me an e-mail admonishing me to make hay.

I was tempted to at least insult them, but failed to bother and didn't even reply. I only mow down the plants which cause me allergy in late summer (Artemisia vulgaris).

Later, certain people got pushed out of the parish self-government and they sent me a letter that said I had a protected area for bats.

I was tempted to remind them that if I had made hay every summer, there would not be trees growing here, and bats would be elsewhere. However, knowing that the idiot who wanted everyone to make hay was already terrorizing people in another parish - I again failed to reply. :)