this post was submitted on 03 Jan 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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BattleShip! Couples Counseling

Welcome to BattleShip! Couples Counseling, an innovative approach to resolving conflicts in your relationship. Through our cutting-edge virtual platform, you and your partner will engage in exciting gameplay under the guidance of qualified therapists.

How It Works

Step 1: Identify Your Player Type

First, you'll need to set up your profile by identifying your player type. Your options are:

  • Secure
  • Anxious
  • Avoidant
  • Disorganized

Step 2: Choose Your League

Next, select a league from which to choose your therapist. The leagues correspond to the player types. Consider whether you want the advantage of having a therapist who specializes in your type or one that focuses on your partner's type.

Step 3: Develop Your Moves

Once you've chosen a therapist, you’ll work one-on-one to develop and refine four key moves for the battle ahead. For example:

  • An Avoidant League therapist might teach you how to apologize without actually being sorry.
  • An Anxious League therapist might teach you to express opinions as feelings to ensure that disagreeing is perceived as an act of invalidation.

Step 4: Select Your Issues

Before the battle begins, both teams must choose two relationship issues to focus on. Each therapist will listen to both partners' perspectives on these issues.

The Battle

Finally, the battle commences! Your therapist will provide strategic guidance on which moves to deploy and when. A third therapist will serve as the referee, ensuring a fair game and determining when one partner has been defeated.

Embrace the excitement of BattleShip! Couples Counseling and take your first step towards a healthier relationship!

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[–] DrunkAnRoot@sh.itjust.works 5 points 6 days ago

5th option ask for a threesome (this is a joke)