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This is especially frustrating with the 2 to 4 age bracket. When they ask for something, especially when its a treat like chocolate or fast food and especially when you decide you dont want to deal with the tantrum for saying no and you give it to them and then they give you A GIANT FUCKING TANTRUM for giving them the treat they asked for.
You dont hate them but fuck...
I have 2 year old twins. Haven't encountered this particular shit storm yet.
However, I've noticed they've recently learned how to tantrum more effectively. They know I can ignore or work around 1 of them at a time but it can get very difficult when they both get lit at the same time.
Example, at the park with just dad and 2 toddlers. If it's time to go home and one is non-compliant, no big deal you just pick up that kid and let the other walk. If both are non-compliant then you're a bit screwed. I can pick up both of them simultaneously but they're 14kg each and it's hard if they're squirming around. Even then - you can't get one strapped in to the car while the other is tearing a rift in the space time continuum.
Sometimes all there is for it is to sit down and hug it out. They don't "get their way" at least. They don't have the commitment to keep it up for more than 5 minutes usually. Sometimes you can redirect them.
What I've really noticed more recently is that at times the tantrum is mostly performative. Like they're not deeply and gravely upset, they're just acting it out.
Literally yes. They’re testing the boundaries of what they can do and seeing what the results of different types of behavior are.
You can also learn to notice by their sound when they are acting. The sound is more shallow compared to when they are really upset.
Skill issue