this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2026
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I dont know what all this means
What is a queer spectrum?
What is “pan married”? As opposed to normal marriage?
Just a term I've heard for different flavours of queer. Bi, Pan, Gay, Lesbian, Ace/Aro, etc.
So I am married to my partner. Before I met them (They're trans/enby) they had a girlfriend for I think about 7 years? I married my partner. Since then I have two girlfriends myself and they've found a boyfriend on top of their girlfriend. So we both have two individual relationships outside of our marriage. And they're full on mono-like relationships. I love my girlfriends; emotionally, romantically, and sexually. We have sex outside of my marriage and everything is all on the up-and-up with my married partner. My partner is less sexually charged as I am.
So basically, I am married and have two other full relationships and my partner has two other full relationships that aren't me. And those relationships carry the same pros and cons as any relationship. I could be up late on the phone because something happened. One of my gf's dad got diagnosed with cancer so I've done my best to be emotionally available for her when she needs it.
Pan isn't just "Look at us and all the sex we have". If you think one relationship is a lot of work, we both have three lol.