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Haha, I’ve experienced something similar to that. I ordered queso at a taco place and there was a sliced pepper floating on top. My wife doesn’t like spicy food, so I will grab that stuff immediately. It was a little hot, definitely felt a slight burn. A few minutes later, the waitress came out and was looking at the queso, then the tray, then the plates and the floor. She was slightly panicked and said, “did this come out with a pepper on it?!” And then explained that she tells all her guests not to eat the pepper because it’s too spicy and they get a lot of complaints. Definitely way too dramatic for the heat level of that thing.
The trick is to ask them if the spice is scaled for white people or not
“Is there a non-white people extra spicy?” I’ve had to convince waiters at many restaurants that I really mean it. Recent experience - I had the chef come out and double check with me at a new Indian restaurant and I confirmed extra spicy - and he was right, it was pretty tongue melting. Now I usually order spicy unless I’m really in the mood. Sometimes (sadly rare) they mean it!
My wife and I went to an Indian restaurant and the owners were letting their daughter take the orders. She was maybe 7 or 8 or so. I ask for something extra spicy and she asks Indian or American extra spicy. I say Indian.
She looks worried and walks off. Place was not very busy and dad is watching from the corner as she takes orders, so she goes over to him...
whispers
She comes back and asks "are you sure? Indian extra spicy is very spicy". I say yes, she walks back and there is more whispering, this time with Mom also there. Concerned looks from all three directed at our table. It was hard not to burst out in a laugh.
When the dish came it was some serious spice. Maybe the hottest thing I've ever had at a restaurant. And it was delicious. I think the owner asked what I thought when I was paying the bill. I was sweating a bit (rare for me) and probably dipping into the naan to cool things off when he asked. :)
I remember eating at a Chinese restaurant and ordering something "extra spicy". The waiter asked, oh, what level? Well, I had eaten there before and didn't know they had a level, so asked what that meant. He said 1-10, with 10 being spiciest. I said 10 and continued looking at the menu (it's a rather large one), waiting for the other orders. Then I notice there is a silence and look up.
Waiter is staring at me, concerned. He says "no one has ever said 10!". After that, others at the table had to change their orders to 10 to try it out, LOL.
After all that, it was spicier than the normal extra spicy I've had there, but it was not worth the panic the waiter had. :)