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China attacks South Korea 2026:
> Be the Chinese Gen. Secretary
> Did some naughty stuff during the Cultural Revolution, but tell yourself that it was worth it for the networking
> Sounded kinda good in hindsight, now you're at the top of the machine, untouchable
> Suddenly, someday Kim comes in to visit with a heavy folder
> Pull up a chair for him like you always do
> He splits the folder apart, revealing in excruciating detail what you did, and with whom
> "You know what have to do now, Xi boy"
> Announce an attack on South Korea from you beach club
> Two nuclear powers vs a state with barely any enriched uranium
> Gonna be a cakewalk, 3 days excursion tops
> Find out the Skoreans didn't sit around for 80 years doing nothing and not expecting to be hit
> They make expert use of precision drones, provided by Samsung, to pummel your bases on the coast
> Your soldiers are so scared of these they dress into civvy clothes, get off bases and check into hotels
> They get targeted anyway, since the Japanese and the Americans are providing intelligence for free
> Try to retaliate, but hit schoolchildren instead
> "South Korea is increasingly desperate!"
> Foreign FMs start asking for a reason for the war
> "We had to go in preemptively to stop the Nkoreans from beating us to it"
> 3 weeks in, accomplish nothing
> The Skoreans have effectively closed the strait of Malacca
> Your cargo ships trying to make it to the ocean are burning
> Meanwhile, Kim has quietly pulled his forces from the ordeal to go deal with the Philippines
> Ask the PLA Navy to provide escort, top admiral suggests placing cargo ships in front of warships to avoid the mines
> Out of options, make an international plea for help
> Demand the United States Navy and Indian Navy help secure the strait
> The Indians say that they're considering it (not), Trump doesn't even bother to put in a reply
> Instead they negotiate individually with the South
> Realize that you're really screwed and that things aren't going to get better
> "This blockade hurts your trade more than it hurts us!"
> Threaten warcirmes
> "I will have the honor of taking Mongolia, I can do anything I want!"
> Hallucinate in a fever dream a meeting where you make productive talks to end the war, post it on your Chinese Twitter clone
> Literally everybody denies this ever happened
> Watch in agony as everyone around you think that you've finally lost the plot
Imagine how embarrassing that would be.
Hey, if South Korea or Taiwan happen to need some drone interceptors, everyone knows where to get some now. Battle tested and at affordable prices!