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As an ex Christian pagan, I suspect you've come closer than many. There's a saying that there are many paths up the mountain. I feel that heresy often just means thinking for yourself. I'm not saying to throw away theological rigor, the opposite actually, one should analyze one's religion through the lens of thought and conscience. You're doing well for yourself there, good job.
Yeah, and I mean, there's even lines in the Bible about figuring things out for yourself, which fit with my general philosophy, and there's also a caution that just because one thing is okay for one person, it doesn't mean it's automatically okay for everyone, and so my mentality has to be careful.
This means that just because I believe something is not a sin doesn't mean that someone else does, and everyone's judged for themselves.
I'm sure if there is an intermediary point between now and the end of time where the majority rest waiting for the final judgment, there are many people tormenting themselves with guilt for eating meat on a Friday.
Going into the weeds a bit I believe that at the very end of things, that eternal piece of ourselves will be examined, and if it's found to be good enough, it gets a pass on to the next realm, and if it's found to not be good enough, well, hopefully it gets tossed back for a second try.
But worst case, it just ceases to be, because there's no way that the God that invented love would punish someone eternally for temporary things, unless somehow they figured out the exact truth of everything and then used that truth to destroy as many eternal things as possible on purpose, with knowledge aforethought, fully cognizant of the consequences of their actions.
Even in Revelations the fire of hell that everyone talks about is called the "Second Death". It's not eternal hellfire and burning while all the joyous beautiful people clothed in white with wings play forever in paradise.
They just poof. They're gone.
They cease to be.
So my walk, from what I understand, is not about finding the single exact right way out of all of the ways that are presented in the entire universe to meet the one specific set of requirements that is just good enough to let me through.
Mine is to learn what is out there, and to do my best to experience, and to figure out what is right for my soul, and then present that to my Creator, and take the gamble on whether or not He agrees.