Unpopular Opinion
Welcome to the Unpopular Opinion community!
How voting works:
Vote the opposite of the norm.
If you agree that the opinion is unpopular give it an arrow up. If it's something that's widely accepted, give it an arrow down.
Guidelines:
Tag your post, if possible (not required)
- If your post is a "General" unpopular opinion, start the subject with [GENERAL].
- If it is a Lemmy-specific unpopular opinion, start it with [LEMMY].
Rules:
1. NO POLITICS
Politics is everywhere. Let's make this about [general] and [lemmy] - specific topics, and keep politics out of it.
2. Be civil.
Disagreements happen, but that doesn’t provide the right to personally attack others. No racism/sexism/bigotry. Please also refrain from gatekeeping others' opinions.
3. No bots, spam or self-promotion.
Only approved bots, which follow the guidelines for bots set by the instance, are allowed.
4. Shitposts and memes are allowed but...
Only until they prove to be a problem. They can and will be removed at moderator discretion.
5. No trolling.
This shouldn't need an explanation. If your post or comment is made just to get a rise with no real value, it will be removed. You do this too often, you will get a vacation to touch grass, away from this community for 1 or more days. Repeat offenses will result in a perma-ban.
6. Defend your opinion
This is a bit of a mix of rules 4 and 5 to help foster higher quality posts. You are expected to defend your unpopular opinion in the post body. We don't expect a whole manifesto (please, no manifestos), but you should at least provide some details as to why you hold the position you do.
Instance-wide rules always apply. https://legal.lemmy.world/tos/
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You’re not expressing the support / ‘live and let live’ attitude you think you are.
Your impression of trans people is based on right wing hyperbole/mockery. You don’t understand it, because “it” doesn’t make sense.
The phrases “man in a dress” or “woman with a beard”does not resonate with the vast majority of people actually in the community.
I can help clear up some of the confusion, if you’d like.
I don't think trans people necessarily expect you to fully understand. how could anyone who isn't trans themselves really fully understand?
but they at least expect you to treat them with the same dignity and respect that you'd give to anyone else.
There are two things you appear ignorant about.
First, while gender and sex are not the same thing HRT can be absurdly effective and adjusting the latter to match the former. There are humans out here who look and act "obviously" manly or womanly, despite privately being female or male respectivly. And that's before we consider surgical options.
Second, human sex is not that simple. Take the IoC's "trans women" ban, where they are now testing for the SRY gene. Except that there are cis-women who are XX with a copied SRY from their fatber's Y, and XY humans for whom the SRY gene is dormant, or whose testes never developed, or who are testosterone resistant -- and have appeared feminine since birth. Its entirely likely the IoC will wind up banning more cis women than trans women.
Taken together, these facts lead most people to conclude that the only fair thing is to take people at their word. Sure, doing so means you may need to treat some apparent "bearded women" and "men in dresses" contrary to your initial perception. But most adults do that anyway for literally every other aspect of humanity, and unless you're a sexist jerk the sum total of what you'd need to change is just pronouns and salutations.
No one is saying you have to understand. Just be respectful.
So you're saying you know misgendering hurts people's feelings, but you're still going to do it, because you don't understand why it hurts their feelings?
I guess the thinking is that it's a delusion, and if you're calling them the gender they want, you are enabling the delusion. That it's more important to try to correct them than protect their feelings.
I'm not sure, but I'm guessing this wouldn't be the right tactic even if it was a delusion.
That's right, arguing with psychotic people further alienates them from society and prevents them from getting support. Being part of a community has a stabilising effect on one's emotional wellbeing. If someone has a paranoid delusion, society arguing with them is just going to make them feel less belonging and more paranoia.
Some delusions can be harmful in and of themselves. If your schizophrenic roommate thinks the government put a tracking device in their wrist, don't let them cut it open to get the device. Call a crisis support line to ask for help.
But the only harm solved by putting trans people back in the closet is the very harm transphobes themselves inflict on trans people. You can't argue someone out of gender dysphoria, you're just hurting them for no reason. Other than, as the transphobes claim, to prevent other transphobes from harassing them. That's a self-fulfillment paradox.