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“What’s so great about Hexbear? Why do people keep talking about Hexbear? What’s so special about this instance?”
(hexbear.net)
Maybe it is more than an instance. Maybe it is an idea, a world-historical vanguard, light itself. 
actual attempt to answer (cringe)
We’ve been around for three years on a lemmy fork before federation. The lack of federation for years as well as the place we splintered off from (/r/chapotraphouse) already having a unique microculture within Reddit has given this instance, in my opinion, a distinct culture compared to general-purpose and even other hobbyist instances.
Regarding specifics, Hexbear is a vehemently queer-friendly/intersectional anti-sectarian socialist instance. Check us out 
it was so desirable that it got fought over in a mini-civil war, it’s close enough to Cedar Point for a long weekend, and
lives there
I grew up there so I'm very on board