this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2023
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[–] snor10@lemm.ee 46 points 2 years ago (9 children)

???

Why would she react like that to a phonecall?

[–] Royal_Bitch_Pudding@lemmy.world 95 points 2 years ago (5 children)

Young people don't call unless it's serious business.

Why she reacted like that while also knowing her dad still calls people? No idea

[–] WaltJRimmer@lemmy.world 41 points 2 years ago

Not just young people. I've seen this kind of behavior in surprisingly old people such as Gen X and even Baby Boomers, but I've seen it in a LOT of millennials, the youngest of whom are now in their early thirties and the oldest are in their forties.

[–] Psyduck_world@lemmy.world 34 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Not just young people. I am 48, and if I get a call from my mom I would’ve thought something happened to my dad.

[–] IonAddis@lemmy.world 24 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Yep. Basically any generation that grew up with texting and chat kinda leans this way... so millennials and younger. But also some gen x.

Phone calls are for things that can't wait and need the other person to drop what they're doing, and things urgent like that tend to be medical or work stuff. Or things time sensitive in another way.

Demanding the other person stop what they're doing to attend to you immediately is considered kinda rude for minor topics when such an easy and less pushy alternative is available.

[–] PersnickityPenguin@lemm.ee 1 points 2 years ago

That's funny, because my mom loses her shit if I don't respond to her text message within 15 minutes. Then she rants on how her family abandoned her and she may as well be dead.

Every damn time.

She doesn't call anymore though.

[–] mr_sifl@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

Yep same. I text and Snapchat with my mom daily. If she calls, shit went down.

[–] Ataraxia@lemm.ee 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

That's funny because my mom just asked me when she can call me this morning and I'm going oh fucking he'll I just started my vacation this better be something fucking stupid like if I can order her a grout cleaner. We usually texts. She knows I don't answer calls and if it's really important she can call twice. My job has been on the phone since I was in college so the last thing I want to do is talk on the phone.

[–] SolarNialamide@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago

And, was it just a grout cleaner?

[–] AnonStoleMyPants@sopuli.xyz 10 points 2 years ago

Lmao this thread is so weird to read. My parents call me all the time to ask how I am. I also call them. And my friend from time to time and he calls me. Samesies for my fiancée. Normal stuff.

I'm not young and I prefer a text over very unnecessary long and drawn out phone calls.

[–] snor10@lemm.ee 3 points 2 years ago

Hmm, I wonder if it could a cultural thing?

I'm a millennial in Sweden and I have not experienced this phenomenon unless the person suffers social anxiety, though I must admit I have little contact with people under 25.

To me a call is convenient when I'm biking or working with my hands, and I can't tell you how many times a simple phonecall spared me endless back and forth over text or e-mail.

Maybe I'm desensitized since I constantly receive and make calls at work.

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 47 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Because phonecalls are reserved for when you immediately with no delay need someone.

Asking about a show is not one of those cases.

[–] curiousaur@reddthat.com 37 points 2 years ago (4 children)

Or just want to talk to someone? Why are we simultaneously normalizing anti-social behavior and wondering why the young people are so unhappy?

[–] socsa@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Unless you know for sure that the other person is legitimately bored, sitting around not doing anything, imposing yourself on someone like this is rude.

[–] curiousaur@reddthat.com 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's not imposing. You don't have to answer.

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

You would have, if you knew how important it was.

But you can't know that of a phone call, with a text you can.

[–] stebo02@sopuli.xyz 4 points 2 years ago (2 children)

So when you "just want to talk" you call someone out of the blue and just expect them to stop what they're doing and have a little chat? I had a friend like that and I hated it because they always called at the worst moments so I wouldn't pick up and then they assumed I disliked them and played the victim by a mutual friend. That's when I actually started disliking them. So don't randomly call people please thank you.

Also texting someone instead of talking isn't antisocial behaviour. You can say as much in a text as you can say in a call and the other person can reply to your text and continue doing what they're doing at the same time.

[–] curiousaur@reddthat.com 0 points 2 years ago (2 children)

You absolutely cannot say in a text what you can in a call

You can multitask while texting, true, but that is antisocial. Social, is having a conversation.

[–] stebo02@sopuli.xyz 2 points 2 years ago

how is that antisocial?

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Only when you are illiterate can you not say in a text what you can in a call.

[–] curiousaur@reddthat.com 2 points 2 years ago

If you think that's true then you are self roasting your own conversationalism.

[–] QuinceDaPence@kbin.social 4 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

Maybe this is just me and my circle but if someone just wants to talk I'd typically expect that more over discord or something like that rather than phone call unless they're older.

Other than that phone call is for urgent stuff or something that's going to have a lot of back and forth and is quicker pver phone.

[–] LaurelRerun@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 years ago

Sure, my work uses discord, and I know friends that use it. But my family doesn't. Plus, if you do sales, or job searching, or anything that involves talking to people for work who don't directly work for your company then Discord is a little awkward. A phone or zoom call is better.

[–] PersnickityPenguin@lemm.ee 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Discord, that's a good one. That's a gaming communication app.

You'll be screwed in 4-5 years when it goes belly up.

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 years ago

No, Discord is a communication app that is mainly used for gaming.

That is like calling Whatsapp a family communication app.

[–] sajran@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 years ago

This is the first time in my life when I encountered an opinion that calling someone is somehow rude and reserved for emergencies. In my social circle and family people just call when they want to talk. Sure, we text often too, but calling is completely normal. And if you can't or don't want to talk, you just don't pick up the phone.

I'm genuinely baffled.

[–] Chainweasel@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago

Crippling socal anxiety

[–] EfreetSK@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

In our family it looks exactly like this, that's why I found it very funny :)

We usually just chat (or videochat) and when f.e. dad randomly calls me then it's some serious business. And for that brief moment my mind jumps to most catastrophic scenarios why he could be calling me. And I think it goes both ways because when I call dad the first question usually is "Hi, did something happen?"

[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 0 points 2 years ago

not one of us, not one of us, not one of us, not...

[–] stebo02@sopuli.xyz 0 points 2 years ago (1 children)

because why would you call someone if not for something very urgent?

[–] PurplebeanZ@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 2 years ago

I call people just to have a chat and a catch up.

[–] Amaltheamannen@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago

This is what it feels to struggle with anxiety :(