this post was submitted on 03 Sep 2026
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Today I Learned

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A man ahead of his time. source

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[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 130 points 1 day ago (7 children)

But, the Bible says he died at age 34.

Also, no one fucking knows. At all. It's all stories written long after the facts, and the "facts" were as likely just fiction.

It's all bullshit.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

He may have died in reality, but can a man this swole really die?

[–] end_stage_ligma@lemmy.world 3 points 12 hours ago

man was turning water into whey

[–] 20cello@lemmy.world 55 points 1 day ago

Adapted along the time to please the people in power

[–] CultLeader4Hire@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (3 children)

How did Jesus die? I mean after he died and came back to life? He resurrected and so did tons of people in a nearby graveyard and they all walked through the nearest town (yes this is very literally what’s written about the resurrection in the bible) then what? He just went to a hill and floated away? What happens after that to him? Seems like a huge plot hole

[–] 3abas@lemmy.world 3 points 11 hours ago

All it takes is a bit of searching to get your answer...

It's just really weird to recite the biblical account of the resurrection and then just ignore that it also accounts for his ascension.

You can disagree with it and mock it, but it's certainly not a plot hole. You can find other plot holes to argue about, but the bible clearly says he flew up to heaven...

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

He allegedly basically went "vwoop" straight up to heaven, also so did his mom for some reason.

[–] KneeTitts@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Some say he continues to walk around to this day... that would kinda suck

[–] Hubi@feddit.org 21 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Nah, he walked over water and everything and it was great. I guess you had to be there.

[–] NotSteve_@lemmy.ca 25 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I heard he walked on the water and then the water turned to wine and then they made babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me!

The baby looked at you? Mary, call the Sanhedron.

[–] nightwatch_admin@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] remotedev@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 day ago

Pics or it didn't happen

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Ixoid@aussie.zone 7 points 1 day ago

And he built my hotrod.

The fuck they put in that water, makes people think they can see other people walking on it

[–] blah3166@piefed.social 3 points 1 day ago

and then everyone clapped

[–] violetmirage26@thelemmy.club 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

He may have been an actual human, but a lot of the stories were taken from previous religions. It’s like a bad bunch of fanfic. Plus I read they voted on him being a god.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I don't see the problem with voting to see which god you wanna worship

[–] GalacticRobot@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Can I vote for Cthulhu? Probably would kick Jesus's ass.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Uh, we got a Cthulhu Johnson and a Cthuhlu Johnson running for God. which one you voting for?

edit: and a Cthulhu Jergensen. big year for Cthulhus.

[–] violetmirage26@thelemmy.club 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Even if he wasn’t actually a god and was just a person?

So you've heard about my second cult, Dave-ology

[–] idntknow@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The guy in the bible who talked to a bush probably just did a bunch of mushrooms lmao

I once knew a guy who did that and he wasn't even able to save himself, nor was he very big on "peace", "love thy neighbour" or "turn the othet cheek" stuff. He would stab you in dark alley if you crossed him.