this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2023
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It is called empathy. It means you are a good person.
One of the greatest emotional advances I made in my life was realizing that I had control over who I gave my empathy to. I was being heavily manipulated by many people in my life prior to that and it applies to fascists, too. Fascists get the, “they’re such normal people if you follow them around for a day” treatment by default. And that is a political choice, one we can reject.
I used to be a people pleaser, but as I started understanding and trying to get rid of my internalized bigotry and toxic attitudes, I basically managed to channel the misplaced empathy from people taking advantage of me to marginalized people
Of course there were shitloads of other factors to growing a spine, but when it finally came to cutting off people, I didn't feel any guilt because it was easy to see how misplaced the empathy had been