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Writing as a bisexual who gradually become gay. This is an acute price of commitment. I am very sorry you have not had the opportunity to explore your sexuality, or the knowledge of your bisexuality before reaching this level of commitment. At the same time, this is a more extreme and justifiable version of the thought "well, I haven't been with X, Y, and Z sort of women yet and I wish I could explore."

As others have pointed out, repeatedly asking for nonmonogamy is just going to cause tension and insecurity and ultimately a lot of pain for all involved. The core questions now are 1) are you fulfilled by your relationship with your wife? 2) can you be satisfied with not exploring your bisexuality through sex with other men? and 3) what are some other avenues for exploring and finding greater sexual fulfillment which maintain the boundaries of your relationship with your wife?

From my limited perspective, it seems like questions 1 and 2 are the 'dealbreakers' and answering question 3 is the beginning of a positive solution. I strongly encourage you to reflect on this question, and also the positives of your relationship with your wife. It's important to not 'miss the donut for the hole' in the light of your recent awakening.

Congratulations on becoming queer! It's a wonderful thing, and you might find a lot of inspiration or direction in your current relationship by finding queer community and reading about the queer experience more broadly. You might find more comfort in your existing relationship by developing a queerer dynamic. Good luck!