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Thinking of Moving to the City (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 year ago by bubbalu@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net

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Where I live now, things are okay. I have friends I see regularly, a stable job, and the prospect of owning a home in the next few years. At the same time, it is absolutely sprawling and street life is absolutely non-existent. Cultural life is oriented around bars and events and it is hard for things to happen spontaneously.

Meanwhile, I grew up in a different city which had a much more vibrant street life, and it was borderline possible to live without a car. I am at a real crossroads here now deciding if I should cut it and move home, or keep going with the life I am building here.

In general I struggle with depression, and I am worried I am fixating on changes in my extrinsic conditions as a deflection from my inner work/inner struggles.

Would like to here other's perspectives, and particularly the experience of people who have made a big move recently.

Staying Pros

No major life disruption
Continue with stable job
Cost of Living lower
Most friends live here

Staying Cons

No street life
Must drive to do anything---feel shut-in

Leaving Pros

No car!
Closer to family
Street Life
Bigger Gay scene
Start Over lite

Leaving Cons

Job hunt
Major life disruption
Might just be 'grass is greener'
Leave friends
Higher Cost of Living
Continue my very patchy work history

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[–] GinAndJuche@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago

My gut reaction would be to line up a job that would provide a stability at least on par with the current one assuming you don’t mind it (parallel, I guess, but higher cost of living means the same compensation is going to be an effective downgrade. Do the math on what that would actually look like, figure out what places you would be able to swing with the jobs you can safely bet on getting.

You can minimize the risk a great deal by doing the research and getting everything in a row before committing either way. The research and planning is the discernment process within the advice. Don’t avoid possible future opportunities that could arise as a result of the changes within this, but don’t treat them as concrete either.