this post was submitted on 27 Mar 2024
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Oh Onion, we’ve been friends for more than a decade, but you simply must stop banging on the old stereotypes, it’s 2024 old chap .
I wish this was just an old stereotype (and for many men, it is) but you wouldn't believe how many men still come in my office with their family and their wives do all the paperwork and try to wrangle the kids while the dad plays on his phone and ignores them. I do see a lot more actively engaged dads but it's by no means universal, unfortunately.
My wife does the doctor work. Because I did the shopping, cooking, and dishwashing. You are just making judgments based on nearly zero information.
I don't think they're making judgments about every single dad, they're just saying that the stereotype of many fathers not interacting much with their kids holds true for more fathers than one might expect.
Soounds like validating a stereo type based off of 15 minutes of limited observation to me.
They're here to apply for a passport so both parents generally have to be here, and I really don't think I'm asking too much for men to interact with their kids for 15 minutes if they're not going to help with any of the paperwork. At least pay enough attention to keep them from running around getting into people's stuff.
And that is great. Do you think everybody else also has a household as comfortable with this kind of division labor?
I also noticed you didn’t say anything about who raises kids. That’s fine but it’s what this whole discussion is about ultimately. Caregivers are typically women by a large margin.
That's a mean thing to say about my dad.
So you're saying your Dad is Dolby or are we talkin CinemaScope?
At this point, he's the Bluetooth though a hearing aide type of guy.
I don't know if that counts as a stereo type.
Do you want to invite people to trauma dump? Because that’s how you invite people to trauma dump.
This comment is what I’m doing instead of trauma dumping (the self awareness makes it funny again!)
This is both my dad and my stepdad, as well as the dad of several people I know. Sadly, it is very much not outdated.
I’m not sure where you live, but I know plenty of guys who operate like this unfortunately. Parenting/caregiving is still deeply gendered and a lot of men do not equally share the burden, which also translates into more frustration when things “aren’t working” because they aren’t used to dealing with kids (in particular tantrums at any age, but broader emotional needs as well) as much as their partners generally are.
There has definitely been a lot of progress lately sure but we have a long way to go.