this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2023
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Asklemmy
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I am allied with spiders against mosquitoes and bedbugs. I don't take down their webs (unless they're in the way) and they eat hundreds of the fuckers. They're also fun to watch sometimes.
I wish we could talk to spiders. I'd write an agreement with one that says, as long as it doesn't crawl on me, it can live in the house. I'll even build it a little shelf to protect from fan wind.
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I would like to invasive species your huntsman we moved here and they have roaches in all the garages in the neighborhood (the place used to be an orchard, and before that like all of the americas an indian burial ground)
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We had a "pet" spider that lived in the kitchen. There was this spot the ants kept getting in, and he (? I assume) moved there and just started eating the ants. I hate ants. And so a pact was formed. Then one year my mom hired a cleaning lady and she didn't bother to ask about Gerald.
Poor Gerald :(
For Gerald
I would also include a clause that says I never have to see it ever. It can basically be a roommate that lives in the basement and has their own entrance in the garage.
We can't write those agreements, but evolution could do it for us. I know that we kill an insignificant amount of them compared to how many are in the wild, but maybe certain spiders in urban areas could be under enough evolutionary strain to actually get better at staying out of our way.
I wish my wife didn't have some gnarly arachnophobia. The "spiders are beneficial" argument doesn't work :(