this post was submitted on 19 Jun 2024
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Things are getting tetchy in the burger fandom (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 years ago by GabrielBell12fi@lemmy.world to c/tumblr@lemmy.world
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[–] salvaria@lemmy.blahaj.zone 35 points 2 years ago (2 children)

for anyone else who is curious, it's the first one

TOLEDO, OH (WTOL) - A Toledo woman is out of the hospital after her son stabbed her over a cheeseburger at an apartment building in the 400 block of West Bancroft in central Toledo around 1 a.m. Friday.

Police arrested 18-year-old Aaron Dean. He has been charged with one count of felonious assault after an initial court appearance Friday morning.

Police say Dean choked and stabbed his mom because she didn't bring him a cheeseburger.

Dean's mother says when she walked in her front door her son asked her where was his food. "And I'm like 'boy you just sat there and ate.' He's like 'you can't bring none in here without bringing me something to eat.' So, he just smacked my burger out of my hand and then we got to fighting."

[–] Oisteink@feddit.nl 9 points 2 years ago

Thats what they want you to believe. The truth, however, is that it’s a sport and the record is held by a fisherman from gosport uk.

[–] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 years ago

(since she’s OK…)

stabbed her over a cheeseburger at an apartment building

What an odd thing to stab someone over. Over a bridge or some railroad tracks, sure, but over a cheeseburger?

[–] ma11en@lemmy.world 23 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

There could have been a stabbing in place called Cheeseburger.

[–] Rolando@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago

Or a stabbing by a resident of Cheeseburg, perhaps on vacation.

[–] jettrscga@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

A cheeseburger stabbed another cheeseburger with a cheeseburger in a Cheeseburger's.

[–] Hedup@lemm.ee 20 points 2 years ago (2 children)

[–] RootBeerGuy@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Woah woah, mark this NSFW!

[–] Macaroni_ninja@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

NSFCHB!

[–] RootBeerGuy@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Carbo... Hydrate...Binging...?

[–] odium@programming.dev 2 points 2 years ago

Cheese burgers

[–] GabrielBell12fi@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Caliban's House Boy.

[–] hakase@lemm.ee 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You can very easily decide. 2, 4, and 5 are outlandish and incredibly unlikely, and 3 isn't newsworthy.

The most likely choice is 1, by an enormous margin, and guess what, that's exactly which one it was!

[–] Macaroni_ninja@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I remember in the UK once they made illegal to sell a certain type of sweet at schools (I believe some kind of shortbread) because it had a pointy end and they were afraid the kids will stab each other with it. It was hilarious and yes, it was in the news 😅

Edit: it was flapjack. https://youtu.be/hA5C4sD4l7Y?si=0cQFCBIrydwog17M

[–] God_Is_Love@reddthat.com 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

This website is the only one with memes that make me actually laugh out loud. Well done sir and/or ma'am 😜

[–] Poop@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 years ago

I totally agree, I've never laughed out loud at so many memes as on Lemmy!

[–] itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 years ago

Cheeseburger on Cheeseburger crime sure is a shame

[–] Troublegiant@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

Can confirm - Toledo folks/cheeseburgers will do all of the above without thinking twice. 🔪🍔

[–] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 2 years ago

Someone with the last name Cheese, stabbed someone with the last name Burger.

[–] OpenStars@discuss.online 3 points 2 years ago

It's a "~~click here~~ continue to watch" kind of title, meant less to inform and more to increase their profits by exposing you to more advertising revenue while you puzzle it out.