this post was submitted on 23 Oct 2024
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Lancashire - the correct side of the Pennines

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He'd caught two thieves trying to steal his quad bike, so he tied them up and brought them to the police station.

The farmer was then arrested for suspicion of false imprisonment.

Apologies for the crappy local news site.

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[–] Letstakealook@lemm.ee 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Bro, how you get red deaded by some Denzel character ass motherfucker trying to steal a quad? That's some ol bubblegummer ass shit, lower the dose.

[–] AlecSadler@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago

...this quote has gold written all over it.

[–] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Guess just deal with it and don't call the cops next time

[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

To quote chief wiggum. "Laws is powerless to help you. not powerless to punish you."

[–] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

The Simpsons, prescient as ever.

[–] ikidd@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Never piss off a guy with a backhoe and 160 acres of dirt.

[–] Emperor@feddit.uk 10 points 1 year ago

Ah, he's from Pendle, say no more.

[–] watersnipje@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How did he even do this? How do you overpower two people and do it for long enough that you can tie them up?

[–] GreatAlbatross@feddit.uk 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Pissed off farmers are often ludicrously strong, and well, pissed off.

[–] watersnipje@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Yeah, but against two guys? How do you even find the time to tie up the first one?

[–] GreatAlbatross@feddit.uk 7 points 1 year ago

I'm sure he worked alone, and any charges by the police are his alone.
Anybody else on the farm was sound asleep at the time.

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Step 1; have a firearm.

Step 2:, make thief 1 tie up thief 2, under the threat of shooting them.

Step 3: make thief 1 tie up his legs and put his hands behind him.

Step 4; put gun next to you and tie the hands of thief 1.

Step 5: make them hop on your quadbike.

Step 6: drive into a police station and get arrested.

I think the "correct" thing here would've been for him to keep them at gunpoint while waiting for the police to arrive to arrest them. Citizen's arrest are a thing, but hogtying people and making them ride on your quadbike like that? Unnecessary.

[–] Bertuccio@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

ferengimaaaales.gif