MAS*H

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Why don't they just go home? (Wrong Answers Only) (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by randomdeadguy@lemmy.world to c/mash@sh.itjust.works

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Just about every episode of MASH I've seen, somebody claims that they hate Korea, or that they hate the stupid Army, or that they don't even know why they're at war. I don't get it. Why don't they all go home? If nobody wants to work there, how come they never leave?

Please respond with wrong answers.

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[–] randomdeadguy@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I'll start: they don't want to leave Korea because the California mountains are too beautiful.

Klinger is secretly an agent sent to discourage anybody trying get out on phony section 8 discharges.

Sparky and Sofie are having an affair.

[–] MintyFresh@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Rosie's bar has been micro-dosing everyone with opium. They get "home sick" when they try to leave camp for more than a day or two. The doctors and hot lips know. But the addiction has them too far gone to fight it anymore.

[–] randomdeadguy@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Be it ever so crumbled, there is no place like home." Darkest one so far. Awesome!

[–] MintyFresh@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

At least Radar got out!

[–] randomdeadguy@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Too little too late! Legend has it, he could never look a bottle of Grape Nehi in the eye again

[–] sbv@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hot Lips.

[–] randomdeadguy@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I asked for wrong answers, but that's good too.

[–] sbv@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You're supposed to ask why Hot Lips is there.

[–] randomdeadguy@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah! Why is Hot Lips there anyway?

[–] sbv@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago

I'm glad you asked. Hot Lips Houlihan, the woman who could talk a snake out of its skin, is staying in Vietnam. She's hawking war bonds to grunts! I swear she could sell ice cream to an Eskimo.

[–] DemBoSain@midwest.social 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Everyone wants to know where Spearchucker went. They're afraid to leave anyone behind.

[–] randomdeadguy@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Spearchucker Jones was either shot down over the Sea of Japan, or he was on that prequel spin-off with Ugly John, Before MASH

[–] FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hawkeye’s booze is better and cheaper than they can get in the States

[–] randomdeadguy@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

That's why Colonel Potter and B.J. were hooked immediately!