one of the first signs of burnout is lowered empathy. Family care in this case is purely mechanical maintenance.
The better you are at capitalism the less you relate to other people, makes a whole lot of sense doesn't it.
this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2025
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A Boring Dystopia
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i haven't had an honest-to-goodness real vacation.. ya know, the whole bit. planning ahead, to a 'destination' of some sort, at least a long weekend away, and no work or family obligations.. in my entire adult life. the last time i was even out-of-state for more than a single day at a time was a week-long trip to bury my mother. that was almost 20 years ago.
I’ve done it but the glut of work when you come back isn’t worth it.
One summer I just took every Friday off and that was nice. I could have short trips away or long, lazy weekends without feeling swamped.
It helps that I hate travel.
Why so much work when you get back? Don't other people in the business handle it while you are away?
You'd think that. You really would. But there's so much stuff where I am apparently the only person who can do it that it just piles up.
What's wrong with letting it pile up? Can't you just put in your hours for the day then go home, pile size be damned?
Because it keeps piling up, and the pile will be even larger the next day because everyone knows I'm back from vacation
If you don't let the work pile up, then management thinks that your workload is fine
It is a fine amount of work as long as I don’t let it pile up
What line of work are you in that the work can't just remain piled up? Doesn't seem reasonable to worry about, but if you're a doctor or something then maybe that makes sense
Even just taking time off to sit around and relax is difficult. I can’t remember the last time I did that for more than a “mental health day” because I was completely overwhelmed. Let alone actually traveling the country or world
Even just taking time off to sit around and relax is difficult.
When you are slammed, taking time off only adds to misery. That's how the system is designed to work. They want us to feel always under water.
79% of Americans feel burned out as they put most vacation time toward errands, doctor visits, and family care
Which is super convenient and totally works out, since we wouldn't have money to go on vacation anyway
This was me.
I now am free lance, so I don't get any PTO.
I am seeing my family for 2 and a half weeks, went on a few vacations to Vegas, Seattle, Portland, Milwaukee, and Nashville this year, and I work <30 hrs a week.
I'm just a fucking musician.
Just gonna say it, the "stability" of full time employment is a lie. I learned that "fuck you" money isn't a lot of money, it's a lot of revenue streams. When money is freedom, letting one person control your money is letting one person control your freedom.
I've never made more money in my life, and even though I need to do my own taxes, contribute to my own Roth IRA, and have my own insurance, the freedom is so worth it.
Follow your skills and follow your passions- you can burn the midnight oil and do the things others won't. Find a schedule or a method that works for you, and you will never have to send in a PTO request to "HR" ever again.
Employers only lie to you and underpay you. You do have skills. They are underutilized and undervalued. Employers will try to convince you that those aren't your way out. They are.
Fuck it AMA
How huges are you balls? Are we talking like baseball big, or wheelbarrow big?
I am in a position where I work for a friend but I have basically a freelancing job, and I start to realize what you are saying.
I am starting to build my exit plan in case it doesn't work out for whatever reason, and I cannot see myself going back to a 9 to 5 job.
Oooof working for a friend can be tough. You think you're going to have a boss who's your friend but then your friend becomes your boss. If you need to leave that situation, remember to frame it as "I love our friendship and I don't want this to hurt it".
As far as ball size, I guess I think I've been stupid so many times I Jacques Clueseau'd my way to where I am, but also I have a personality that tends to downplay risk.
Here's a story on that:
I worked in Seattle for a start up in "chemical distribution". It sucked. Everyone was jaded. There was no culture. I was selling something I didn't know, but the military seemed to want a lot of it. I was there for 2 months, 26 days, and 4 hours.
On my way out, one of the charismatic smiley hot shot salesmen invited me for a farewell drink, just me and him. When we sat down, his demeanor completely changed. He slumped and stared into his glass and said "I don't have the balls to do what you do. I wanted to be a brewer, but the market is too risky. I'm afraid if never make it so I do this instead. Maybe when I'm old I could make it happen..."
I thought "damn. I don't have the balls to do what you do". I mean, putting your life on hold for ~35 years!? I can die so many different ways in that time. Then I get a small window to finally live, but for how long? If you ask me, that's a MUCH bigger risk. Like be smart, but don't throw away your passions.
Personally I decided I don't want to retire. I want to build a life where if I knew I'd die tomorrow I'd do nothing different about my routine.
I have been working almost 4 years with my friend now and we have an open discourse on what is expected of each other, so the line is very clear between work and friendship.
I don't plan on exiting in the next few years, but I have to have a plan if I need to get out.
These years have been eye opening on what I want in life. The freedom it provides has no price, and I agree with you that the job security is a lie. The moment the company doesn't need you, you get fired and that's that. There is uncertainty between contracts, but otherwise it is the same as a normal job except you make your hours.
What industry are you freelancing on?
I'm a musician in Chicago, so I have the benefit of a vibrant industry with relatively low cost of living (compared to LA or NYC). My revenue is essentially 3 streams - education, gigs, and composition/ director work.
I have several private students and after school group lessons that make up 45% of my income. Gigs with my band and as a "hired gun" make up 25%, and working with theaters and film producers makes up 30%, and that sector is growing fast.
Since I have experience as an improv comedian and know my way around a keyboard, I've been able to get booked for improv shows to underscore the cast with either the right vibe for the scene or some sound effects that hit with good timing. Those pay anywhere between $50-$200 for an hour set. Those are the most fun too.
Side note: my degree was in political science, and I had a decade in marketing and sales roles. I just loved learning new instruments, writing music, and watching music theory YouTube videos. I'm not the best musician, but among musicians I'm the best comedian, and among comedians I'm the best musician.
I'm moving to Southeast Asia to grow my business. Right now, I’m making $30-50k gross revenue before expenses; solid, but not enough to live comfortably in the West. So I’m heading to Kuala Lumpur, a city I love, where the cost of living is super affordable. I’ll work a bit, enjoy tons of free time, explore the region, lower my stress, and live much better overall. Sure, I could take a $200k job in NY/LA/SF, but after taxes, rent, and everything else, what’s the point? Freedom isn’t just about fuck you money or revenue streams, it’s about being geographically neutral and choosing the best places on the planet for quality of life and value.
"pulling yourself up by the bootstraps" has always been this: an instruction by the ruling class "for the weed to weed out itself by the roots".
You know what happens when a tree pulls itself up by the roots? ~~It starts walking, dancing even.~~ It dies.
The phrase is also meant to show that it's impossible. You can't lift yourself into the air by pulling on your boot straps.
Boomers were too stupid to understand the joke and have been using it earnest.
Leqd exposure be like that
Were we supposed to actually go on vacation?
Wtf kind of article is this. This is sponsored content for Apple Vacations. Their name is mentioned four times in the article and they paid for this survey to show that Americans need more vacation
This is me.
This is me and I make well into the six figures. And I’m not spending above my means. This fucking sucks.
I've decided to prioritize hiring help this year. A cleaning service, scheduled grocery delivery, babysitters. We can't thrive without a supportive community, and unfortunately it's hard to build that naturally these days.
This isn’t crazy spending. Cleaning service is maybe optional, but, grocery delivery and babysitting services is pretty standard and sometimes necessary.