this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2023
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Memes

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[–] empireOfLove@lemmy.one 62 points 2 years ago (7 children)

Y'all need more fiber in ya life

[–] phorq@lemmy.ml 27 points 2 years ago (1 children)

My toilet paper is already practically a pillow, how many more fibers do you want?

[–] empireOfLove@lemmy.one 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It has to go through you!!!

[–] FredericChopin_@feddit.uk 10 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Instructions unclear, i ate all the toilet paper.

Wish I hadn’t used it first.

[–] empireOfLove@lemmy.one 4 points 2 years ago

Well at least it's recyclable.

[–] Rachelhazideas@lemmy.world 16 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I have IBS. Might as well ask us if we've tried yoga.

[–] moody@lemmings.world 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Rachelhazideas@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

FYI, 'have you tried yoga?' In chronic illness speak means 'can I offer you unsolicited advice with the undertones of presuming that you have not tried to the best of your abilities to cure yourself of an incurable disease that has not even come close to be fully treatable?'

Not saying that's what OP said, just saying thats how it comes off to most non-chronic illness sufferers.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

Ok, but have you tried essential oils?

[–] ShakeThatYam@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Also water. If you eat a bunch of fiber without water... believe it or not, also constipation.

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[–] Jessica@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

No, he needs a squatty potty. I can’t believe nobody else in these comments has mentioned them.

[–] empireOfLove@lemmy.one 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Fuck, I forgot what a cult following those weird things have.

[–] Jessica@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It’s not a weird cult following? Humans have been squatting to shit for millennia. It’s just a return to our roots because it’s what works…

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[–] GreatGrapeApe@reddthat.com 2 points 2 years ago

No they need fiber and water if they are struggling.

[–] Granixo@feddit.cl 3 points 2 years ago (2 children)

And how do you deal with corn then? 🌽

[–] Confused_Emus@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

Wash it off and toss it in the next pot of chili!

[–] kamiheku@sopuli.xyz 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Corn? I don't remember eating corn!

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[–] TheGiantKorean@lemmy.world 43 points 2 years ago (9 children)
[–] thekerker@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago

That's right, show that turd who's boss!

[–] The_Worst@feddit.nl 8 points 2 years ago

Yeah, that's it! You show that turd who's boss.

[–] squiblet@kbin.social 4 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (4 children)

(since nobody seems to know, this is a scene from the Prisoner, which is what "who does #2 work for" is a reference to)

[–] thekerker@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure this is a reference to Austin Powers, where he's giving the Irish hitman a swirly in a casino bathroom and yelling "WHO DOES NUMBER 2 WORK FOR" while a gambler played by Tom Arnold in the next stall is trying to encourage him on.

[–] Aesculapius@kbin.social 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You are correct. But what Austin Powers was referencing was this scene from The Prisoner. Top notch 60's TV!

[–] ChillCapybara@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 2 years ago

The mvp is in the comments of the comments

[–] Seventhlevin@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

I AM NOT A NUMBER. I AM A FREE MAN!

[–] foo@programming.dev 4 points 2 years ago

That's not my bag, baby

[–] Aesculapius@kbin.social 3 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Deep cut! I first heard of and saw that show in college. It's great!

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[–] NegativeLookBehind@kbin.social 38 points 2 years ago (1 children)

When you take your pants off mid-shit, you know it’s a life or death situation

[–] kungen@feddit.nu 14 points 2 years ago

Or when you preemptively take off your shirt.

[–] kaupas24@kbin.social 28 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Wait a sec... Is it me or did he forget to open the lid on the toilet?

[–] lugal@lemmy.ml 17 points 2 years ago

That's the fighting part

[–] c0mbatbag3l@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago

That's just the seat.

[–] MonsiuerPatEBrown@reddthat.com 12 points 2 years ago (2 children)
[–] jasondj@ttrpg.network 6 points 2 years ago

I am convinced that of all the secrets of the world that the elder generations hadn’t passed onto us…taking a fiber supplement is the biggest improvement to daily life.

[–] LukeMedia@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] JuzoInui@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

True. Went to a farmers market and bought a bunch cuz they were cheap. Stupid ass me decided to eat then and there. Thirty minutes later I was blowing red lights to try to reach a safe place to drop der UberDeuce. I swore that the toilet was screaming at me for a week after that

[–] LukeMedia@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

Yeah, bananas help solidify it. They are also mildly antacid. I'll take that over fighting for my life after enjoying a tasty hot sauce!

[–] pascal@lemm.ee 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

That's why we call it bathroom.

[–] lugal@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 years ago

Speak for yourself.

I call it Badezimmer but for similar reasons

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 2 years ago

I once was really tired in a mall and went to the (public) toilet just to sit my ass down and hide from people.

[–] lapommedeterre@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Can confirm. Have Crohn's.

[–] Bonehead@kbin.social 10 points 2 years ago

Can confirm. Have Crohn's, and I just stopped at home in the middle of my route because I couldn't hold it anymore...

[–] squiblet@kbin.social 4 points 2 years ago

Yeah, I have celiac and all I think when people reference epic toilet struggles is “hmm, either you don’t eat any fiber or… you may have a serious health problem”

[–] lilShalom@lemmy.basedcount.com 7 points 2 years ago

Im in this exact position while reading this.

[–] JuzoInui@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

Take the corn OFF the cob next time dumbass

[–] TigrisMorte@kbin.social 6 points 2 years ago

Because you won't eat your fresh veg.

[–] FredericChopin_@feddit.uk 5 points 2 years ago

I’ve had about three number twos in my life where I’ve literally started to feel faint, sweating profusely, and expelling non-solid matter.

It could be fibre or it could be all the pain meds I was abusing, suffice to say it’s not fun.

[–] RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Its not called a restroom because of that, silly...

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