Means you met a moron.
this post was submitted on 07 May 2025
74 points (92.0% liked)
WomensStuff
795 readers
214 users here now
Women only trans inclusive This is an inclusive community for all things women. Whether you're here for make up tips, feminism or just friendly chit chat, we've got you covered.
Rules…
- Women only… trans women are women, and transphobic or gender critical talk isn’t allowed. Anyone under the trans umbrella (e.g. non-binary, bigender, agender) is free to decide whether a women's community is a good fit for them.
- Don’t be a dick. No personal attacks, no aggression, play nice.
- Don’t hate on groups, hatefilled talk about groups is not allowed. Ever.
- No governmental politics, so no talk of Trump actions etc. We recommend Feminism@beehaw.org for that, but here is an escape from it.
- New accounts or users with few comments may have their posts removed to prevent spam and bad-faith participation.
founded 3 months ago
MODERATORS
Correct answer.
I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. I think I "talk like a woman" and in certain areas make a conscious effort not to. Women tend to use more qualifiers and are less definite in their statements. I will be 100% right and still say "I think" or "maybe". It's the whole confident women are bossy women thing. It's not true at all, but there's still so much of that mentality.
They were probably just trying to say something offensive, but if it means anything it's likely just that you're confident and knowledgeable, because thanks to misogyny that's what we think men sound like and not what we think women sound like. Take it as a compliment if anything. It's possible you were just being effortlessly correct lol. And obviously that's what women sound like if you're a woman and that's what you sound like.
Not sure where you're located, but maybe he was expecting the fundie baby voice instead of, you know, a person. My guess is that he's insecure, and any woman who speaks with a modicum of confidence threatens his fragile masculinity.
I'm guessing you have the audacity to speak more directly and unapologetically. For example, if you were at the table and you needed the salt, a stereotypical polite man way to say it would be "Pass the salt, please." And a stereotypical woman way might be "sorry, can you pass the salt, please?"
I'm not sure how deep this person's thoughts go, but she might be expecting some more "squee," cutesy or baby type phrases, said with a higher pitch instead of speaking with fewer qualifiers in a flatter tone.
Men on average seem more aggressive, more willing to interrupt, more direct, less apologetic, and less expressive and do less emotional labor. They also demand more physical space, and are much more willing to take or move into women's physical space.
These are traits and behaviors that might make someone feel you're more "masculine" - but these are traits women can embody as well, as ZDL points out, it's not an essence. While some of it probably relates to our biology (which is more varied and complex than most realize), a lot of the behavior is from social programming, e.g. based on the social norms around us and the way we are raised as kids and so on.
Still, someone might think a woman is "masculine" or "butch" for behaving "like a man". That's just the social context we live in, how gender is manifesting.
Better said than me. Noticed this type of thing even more blatant during my career progression in a male-dominated field.
absolutely, it's enough to make you want to avoid those fields - it can feel so hostile and toxic
My Reply to him: What a fking stupid thing to say, men never fail to surprise me with their stupidity.
Her friend that made the comment was a woman. See the edit.
Ah, I know. You didn't giggle enough. Or something.
Yes some hair tossing would have helped. Also phrases like "don't ask me, I'm just a girl!"
That sounds like straight up sexism to me.