when they give thier non-apology apologies.
this post was submitted on 09 May 2025
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- Ideate
- Ask (noun)
- Table (verb)
Does “tabling” mean putting a subject on the table or taking it off?
“That’s a big ask” drives me crazy. I’ve been hearing it everywhere lately. When did ‘ask’ become a noun?
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"pAiN pOiNtS"
these are not knots in muscles they are severe institutional shortcomings and failings that are draining us all, making us want to jump ship, hazardous, and in some cases even making the company lose profit but you fuckheads just want to write down pAiN pOiNtS and jerk yourselves and the shareholders off instead of actually doing ANYTHING MEANINGFUL
“You don’t have a sense of urgency to get things done”. I usually get this when I’m going crazy to get things done so my status reports and presentations suffer. I understand paperwork is necessary, but can’t you at least say that rather than claiming I’m not getting things done. Meanwhile they’re satisfied with my sends of urgency to get things done if I just ignore my work and pamper them with status reports and PowerPoints.
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Effectuate
I'm going to effectuate this pole right up the ass of the next person to use that word.
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I can’t read this shit on the weekend you guys are killing me :p
People saying something needs to be flushed out when they really want it fleshed out.
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More from the sales types but saying 'value added' is the same as saying greedy mark up.
Growth.
War room
You're a Karen and you're going to talk to Pete from accounting about what gift to buy for Sally's birthday
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Place I worked at some time ago made a big speech and unveiled the following company motto to a lot of confused faces: "Engagement makes awareness sustainable."
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This isn't strictly corpo-speak, but upper mgmt type people do this a lot:
Misuse of the word "myself." Like, "if you have any questions, talk to Joe or myself."
Nice one dumb-ass--you tried to sound smarter by adding syllables but it didn't work, did it!
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"going forward."
Yeah, "from now on" worked fine there Phill.
- Holistic
- Double Click
- Table Stakes
- Jump Ball
- Blocking & Tackling
- bandwidth
- massage
- ping
I used to have a coworker who would also say things like "I'll ping you after the meeting" and I'd chuckle because it sounded so stupid.
One day he asked me why I was smirking and I lied and told him "You know what 'pinging' means, right? It's the act of putting a metal rod in your urethra and tapping it with a tuning fork."
He NEVER said it again.
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What do you have against massages? I find them relaxing.
I don’t remember what it was exactly but someone said something along the lines of “we’ll need to massage it a bit as we roll it out” regarding a new system being implemented.
Oh god I've heard that one many times before as well. It's like adult baby talk
The Q3 numbers have a life of their own. Growing, shrinking, zig zagging all over the place. Pushing needles, pulling levers. And fyi, the roi is tbd. high five synergy!
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One company I worked for decided it was a good idea to name a bunch of firings due to performance "Project Panda" 🤦
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Let's circle back.
Ping: emailing someone
Revert: emailing someone
[Topic] came up on diary: I'm emailing someone
Signs you work in a bullshit email job.