Lol .... I've been chatting with a nice guy at the supermarket every time I go there. I don't know him nor do I really want to ... he's just nice and I want to be nice back. I'm a guy, I'm not gay, I was just being nice and friendly. I'm brown indigenous, he's Indian and I live in a mostly white area so I thought I'd take an extra step to be nice to someone who is different because I know what that feels like.

Last time I saw him, he answered me back with 'Why?' Every time I asked something about his life

I asked how ~~good~~ his family was ... has he been traveling anywhere special lately ... what have you been up to?

I don't know him and I just wanted to chat about something, anything and at one point I felt strange.

But he was good about it ... I told him I ~~was~~ just wanted to chat ... he laughed and said it was alright and we talked for a while.

The world is getting weird I find and it's getting harder to just talk to anyone without some form of suspicion between people.

It was always like that to a degree as far as I can remember (I'm on my 40s) .... but I find it seems to be more so these days.

EDIT: typos

[–] Promethiel@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Keep being you. Fight that feeling one person at a time, we should all follow that example.

You're not imagining things, the world is not just "getting weird" but division is sown our way from a multitude of places for their own profits and agendas.

Yet, we must be silenced. The people can not be allowed to speak. Even as dystopia gives the diseased members of the species ever more powerful and abstract tools to divide us, they still fear us talking.

That's because what you're doing is literally all it takes to begin eroding the artificial pen walls. We're made to communicate and tell each other stories, that's deeply ingrained.

What we're losing slowly and globally is our sense of cohesion. Neighbor to neighborhood, resident to city, citizen to country, human to human.

All of our innate mental structures that trend towards "making it all work, no matter who is helped because it helps me too" are constantly being twisted and attacked. But we are what we are, so keep fighting the good fight.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 years ago

Thanks for the encouragement and reassurance ... I have a lot of dark ideas of the future of this world and a lot of anger, resentment and disappointment at humanity ... but I do hold out hope, especially towards any human being near me.

I will keep fighting ... I will keep holding on to connecting to my fellow man and woman ... but at the same time I do remain pessimistic and disappointed. I like people ... but I have a different view of society as a whole.

[–] Sami_Uso@lemmy.world 43 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I think my version of hell is never ending small talk with distant relatives/acquaintances.

[–] kandoh@reddthat.com 23 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Before family events I grow a mustache, then I just get asked about the mustache the whole time.

[–] Sami_Uso@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago

Dude!! I've done this!! I shaved my beard except for my mustache for my cousins wedding, no one started a conversation with "how's work". Everyone wanted to talk about the stache lmao

[–] Sharkwellington@lemmy.one 8 points 2 years ago

Alternatively: Wear a new funny shirt.

[–] PeWu@lemmy.ml 13 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Ohh, you made me remember that. And also never-ending flood of "Did you finally do your driving license?" is my personal hell

[–] Ilovethebomb@lemmy.ml 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Well, did you?

[–] i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 years ago

Yeah, did you? I'm weirdly invested in this now.

[–] Supa@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

We are the same person

[–] Franzia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 35 points 2 years ago (2 children)

OP how are you?

[–] tdawg@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago

What's new?

[–] TAYRN@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

Why are you doing this to them?

[–] harmonea@kbin.social 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's hard to get across "no really, I find predictability comforting and/or am not willing to share the personal projects I fill my time with for various reasons."

[–] ComradePorkRoll@lemmy.ml 22 points 2 years ago (1 children)

"If I tell you that'll make you an accessory."

[–] Darkenfolk@dormi.zone 7 points 2 years ago

Great, we can be shovel buddies.

[–] obinice@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago (4 children)

Friend is trying to start a conversation and catch up, "Me" is being weirdly antisocial about the whole thing.

Like, if you dislike this person that much, tell them you don't want to be their friend any more, instead of suffering inside at how much you hate interacting with them, and leading them on.

[–] nelly_man@lemmy.world 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I think the "Me" was saying that they've done literally nothing new or interesting and has nothing to answer the question with. The distress is from thinking about how little they are doing and feeling pressure to admit that to their friend, transforming a light conversation to a heavy one.

[–] this_1_is_mine@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 years ago

That our I've been up to nothing I'm willing to talk about or admit.......

[–] harmonea@kbin.social 8 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

weirdly antisocial

Completely forgets (or ignores) the fact that some people just don't like their lives and avoiding thinking about it is what helps them get through the day. And that others legitimately have nothing new going on that they can discuss with those outside their inner circles. Like, I'm not going to tell someone I haven't seen in a couple years all about the adult novel I'm looking forward to releasing in December, or that time I moved and nothing about it went well to the point it was mildly traumatic, so yeah, they're going to get a "meh, not much. keeping busy. work and stuff. you?" at the most generous.

[–] pixeltree@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

Look small talk is all well and good but don't keep pressing for info on what I've been up to because telling you all about how I've been spending most of my days as a puddle of self hatred on the couch doesn't make for good small talk

[–] ArthurParkerhouse@lemm.ee 3 points 2 years ago

Just start with the topic you want to talk about. I would never message someone with small talk nonsense like "what's up" or "how's it going", etc, etc.

[–] crashoverride@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Or, ok, hear me out now, you could have an actual conversation with someone. This whole trend of "I'm an introvert" is getting annoying