this post was submitted on 21 May 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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top 30 comments
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[–] na_th_an@lemmy.world 3 points 13 hours ago

I experienced a poop knife in real life. In Boy Scouts, there's a thing where you can go sail in a boat off the coast of Florida for a week. When the captain explained the rules, he talked about a stash of disposable knives in the head (bathroom).

Basically, he had issues with kids trying to hold their poops until they got to the mid-week stop on shore. They wouldn't make it and ended up clogging the 30 foot boat's plumbing with their product, so he explained that if we took a big enough shit we had to cut it up before flushing.

[–] HEXN3T@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 19 hours ago

Why make it so short

[–] markovs_gun@lemmy.world 26 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Americans will do literally anything to avoid eating more fiber

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 1 points 8 hours ago

They replaced the foods with crap. A lot of people can't afford vegetables and fruit and there are people living in food deserts who only have access to a family dollar for shopping.

It's a real problem and they just cut all the funding to help get healthier food into these places.

[–] Sorgan71@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago (2 children)

fiber is what makes the poop knife neccecary

[–] markovs_gun@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Idk. In my experience fiber makes poops that are solid, but more easily broken up, while eating cheeseburgers exclusively makes dense greasy shits that stick together

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Are you one of those "carnivore diet" guys, who call fibers "carbs"?

[–] Paper_Phrog@lemmy.world 1 points 12 hours ago

Technically true although deceptive.

[–] Sorgan71@lemmy.world -1 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Fibers are the stuff that makes your poop hard and rock like. Sort of the inverse of diarhrea

[–] Paper_Phrog@lemmy.world 2 points 12 hours ago

I am not sure you've had fiber before...

[–] Dorkyd68@lemmy.world 20 points 1 day ago (2 children)

All from a reddit comment like 5 years ago.

[–] Inaminate_Carbon_Rod@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Yeah, I’m waiting to see Lemmy develop it’s own museum of weirdness.

I remember the Reddit poop knife, i’d rather not see it here.

[–] Irelephant@lemm.ee 3 points 14 hours ago

Beans and not pooping for three days?

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 4 points 1 day ago

Around the time of the first Reddit exodus there was the person who said they needed to not poo for three days and was wondering what to do about it. Then there were bean memes but that's not really unique to Lemmy. Recently there was the one where everyone made German jokes because Americans can't read them when we come online.

[–] theOneTrueSpoon@feddit.uk 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

We already have the cylinder guy, so that's a start

[–] Inaminate_Carbon_Rod@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] theOneTrueSpoon@feddit.uk 1 points 1 day ago

Ah, turns out that was actually on Reddit, I just read about it on here 😅

I was talking about this Reddit post, where someone got a "cylinder" stuck in a tube and needed help removing it

[–] onlyhalfminotaur@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

5? I have some news for you....

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Ahp ahp ahp ahp, we don't do that in this house, honey. We are devout believers and it is by our faith that we believe it was 5 short years ago, amen. :)

[–] Irelephant@lemm.ee 47 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] SassyRamen@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

Thank you for correcting this Image

[–] UnfortunateShort@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I seriously wish there was something better to avoid leftovers. Brushes and whatever this shit is do not seem very sanitary to me, and for sure it's annoying you have to use them at all. Can't they do some durable coating and direct the water to hit shit with higher pressure? I feel like there is next to zero innovation in the toilet industry

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 5 points 1 day ago

Poop knife was a meme about something else, but to answer you, this is how you can do it.

  1. Flush.
  2. Get a strip of toilet paper.
  3. Lay it such that it is over the poo on the edge and also in the water.
  4. Because you recently flushed and the end is in water, the entire strip of toilet paper should now be wet and clinging to the edge.
  5. Flush again. The toilet paper gets sucked and/or pushed down and should get the poo with it.
[–] javiwhite@feddit.uk 4 points 1 day ago

I believe the Japanese are eons ahead of everyone else in toilet technology.

[–] Toes@ani.social 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They make toilets with an automatic poop knife.

[–] chad@sh.itjust.works 1 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Or you could just shit in the garbage disposal

[–] Toes@ani.social 1 points 14 hours ago
[–] MarcomachtKuchen@feddit.org 11 points 1 day ago

Hmm it feels like there should be a red body down there...

[–] Blackjeans9@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

I hope they are atleast single use!

[–] ohulancutash@feddit.uk 4 points 1 day ago

Have you tried adequate plumbing?