this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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literal shitpost

top 20 comments
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[–] BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works 28 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

I remember when I was on the healthiest diet I ever had. I took a shit every 48 hours. The consistency was hard, yet smooth and spreadable. It had a diameter of about 2" with a well defined beginning and end. It didn’t take long to exit my body as well. 15 seconds from sitting to shitting. When the toilet was one with a step and the turd chose to stay, I had to stand up to let it all out, or move to let it fall. The emptiness in my bowels caused my balls to cramp not just once. Those were the best. Not even much to clean up afterwards. And not only it opened my asshole to let shit out, but also the possibility to shove things in. Who knows, maybe someday some domina will want to do butt stuff. I’ll be ready then.

Edit: words to make it sound more English and less engrish

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

smooth and spreadable

notices your knife and bread

slowly backs away

[–] OmegaMouse@pawb.social 4 points 1 week ago

What was your diet? :o

[–] Tikiporch@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Get the zoomies like the apex predator you are.

[–] CatZoomies@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

I know what you mean.

[–] Draegur@lemm.ee 10 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It's nice not being so full of shit, right?

[–] DmMacniel@feddit.org 2 points 1 week ago

But Hungry Man always said that it's good to be full?!

Msome of us keep the flame burning with metaphorical shit.

[–] Zier@fedia.io 9 points 1 week ago

Eat more fiber and you will be happy everyday.

[–] theupsanddownsof@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Like a load or burden has been lifted. (Well dropped really)

[–] tias@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 1 week ago

All my happiest friends are proud of their shits. I think it's the key to happiness

[–] LogicalDrivel@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 week ago

When you stand up and look back in the toilet, and all you can say is "Holy shit".

[–] tenchiken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"Boost" yes... Mood? No.

Send help.

[–] gon@lemm.ee 3 points 1 week ago

It's happened

[–] glorkon@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

No because those usually clog my toilet.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 2 points 1 week ago

Famous director Stanley Kuric made a movie about that once.

[–] Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org 1 points 1 week ago

Just earlier today because I overslept this morning and didn't have a chance to go then. I was afraid it may ruin my streak but we're going strong.

[–] martin4598@lemm.ee 1 points 1 week ago

Some of those make your belly warm for 45 minutes. Bliss...