this post was submitted on 15 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world 97 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I shit you not, this has gotten me out of trouble dozens of times. Any time I get pulled over I pull out the "golly jeez" and "oh dang" and proceed to talk the cop's ear off about the fine minutia of my incredibly boring day.

Once got pulled over in a tiny town at 3am in a boaty cadillac with a dope sticker on the back windshield. Watched the cop go from "drug bust of the century" to "please don't let anyone see me here" in about 4min. Literally watched the man's will to live leave his body when I started taking about d&d.

[–] Amputret@lemmy.dbzer0.com 58 points 1 week ago

Are you an energy vampire?

[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 28 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Literally watched the man’s will to live leave his body when I started taking about d&d.

He's probably old school and plays or 3rd edition rules. He just couldn't stand hearing you blaspheme his game.

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If it ain't got THAC0, it ain't D&D.

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Nah, I played both 2.0 and 2.5. Gygax was just a math and numbers geek who tried to gatekeep with over complication.

4.0 is NOT D&D. 1.0 barely qualifies as D&D.

2.0, 2.5, 3.0, 3.5, and 5.0 all have their upsides and downsides.

Dont talk to cops, unless you can make it a kind of torture?

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Spend a year working in a retirement home. Then mirror that energy and just commit wholly to the bit.

[–] Emerald@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

Yeah idk what it is about them, but old people love to ramble on about anything and everything. I kind of like it honestly, I can just listen to their infodumping and occasionally say short sentences and phrases and they keep the entire conversation going for me.

[–] Hamknight@lemmy.world 33 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I read this all through the voice of Sterling Archer. Highly recommend

[–] iltoroargento@lemmy.sdf.org 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Honestly, a lot of things are improved by H. John Benjamin's voice lol

[–] NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)
[–] iltoroargento@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 1 week ago
[–] Aeri@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This is basically just a set of scenes that I would fully believe took place in Archer if I hadn't seen this post.

[–] Bosht@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Hahaha holy shit I thought the same exact thing. I need to rewatch those soon. Been a few years. Are they making them still?

[–] abysmalpoptart@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Abruptly cancelled at the end of season 14, talks of a revival are happening but tbd

[–] cenzorrll@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Man I stopped watching during season 5(?), whatever the Miami vice season was. maybe I should give it a try again.

[–] abysmalpoptart@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

It has its ups and downs. I actually enjoyed the Miami vice season and the 2 after, though they're admittedly weaker. Then there's 3 .. odd seasons. Once that concludes it basically goes back to normal and is worth watching. Not nearly as strong as before but it's still pretty funny

[–] voodooattack@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)
[–] zaphodb2002@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago

Lol I thought that's where I was

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 21 points 1 week ago

[off topic]

I can't remember the author or title of the story.

Napoleon wants to give his enemies false information, so he picks a courier who looks bold and dashing, but has a reputation for being a complete fuck up.

The idiot manages to fumble his way past a dozen patrols and deliver the orders.

Exactly what they didn't want.

[–] philpo@feddit.org 16 points 1 week ago

Tbh, I read that there were multiple Stasi Agents faking exactly that type of personality. If you can't keep a secret besides that one important secret... Everyone will think you can't keep a secret. ... which means you couldn't be a spy.

[–] aeternum@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 1 week ago

this.... seems like ADHD.

[–] 5parky@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

Chunk: And this I've time, I mixed up a batch of fake barf, snuck up to the balcony at the theater, and made a noise like "huuuuh, huuuuh" and dumped it over the side.

Fratelli: I think I'm beginning to like this kid, ma.

[–] Aksamit@slrpnk.net 9 points 1 week ago

Vibes based spying

[–] match@pawb.social 7 points 1 week ago

Me, an empath: Uh huh. Uhhuh. puts a keyboard down in front of them so they unconsciously input their password while telling me about Severance

[–] Steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago

New bames john movie

[–] popekingjoe@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

I feel attacked.