The Onion

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The Onion

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New Trump phone automatically adds users to classified war plan group chats – The Chaser (chaser.com.au)

submitted 5 days ago by irelephant@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/theonion@midwest.social

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[–] HowAbt2morrow@futurology.today 15 points 5 days ago

Hackers are gonna have a blast with these.

[–] DaGeek247@fedia.io 10 points 5 days ago

Goddammit I ate the onion.

[–] dylanmorgan@sh.itjust.works 8 points 5 days ago

You can tell it’s parody because it describes an actual valuable feature.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 5 days ago

When asked for comment on the new device, US Secretary of Defence Pete Hegseth simply responded: “1345: ‘Trigger Based’ F-18 1st Strike Window Starts (Target Terrorist is @ his Known Location so SHOULD BE ON TIME – also, Strike Drones Launch (MQ-9s).”

Shit, now I have to buy it.

[–] wise_pancake@lemmy.ca 7 points 5 days ago

Do we have a sad drama mask to equal out that picture of Trump?

🎭

[–] Placebonickname@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago

“Don’t add me man, I don’t get roped into the next investigation, man”- Trump’s entire staff this morning.

[–] D_C@lemm.ee 3 points 5 days ago

The article is good, but the picture of the obese orange fuckbasket is fantastic.