this post was submitted on 26 Jun 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Album@lemmy.ca 61 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Jokes on you. How do you know not every bread has been fucked before you ate it? Checkmate, atheists.

[–] MimicJar@lemmy.world 23 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You're right! I'm not paying extra until they provide proof.

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 2 weeks ago

Just check your bakers OnlyBrans profile

[–] Boomkop3@reddthat.com 4 points 2 weeks ago

Extra protein

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 48 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

*Fleshli-

You know what who cares

[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 38 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Do not fuck raw eggs or yeast, please.

[–] dalekcaan@lemm.ee 20 points 2 weeks ago

"Dropped raw chicken breast on penis and now it’s burning, please help"

Yes, please pasteurize it first.

[–] dabaldeagul@feddit.nl 20 points 2 weeks ago
[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 17 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

MyFlatLoaf.png

>making flatbread for a party
>dough is runny and moist
>imagine I’m baking a giant wad of cum 
>imagine stomachs bursting with my delicious seed
>they beg for more
>but I wont give it to them because I have a 24 hour refractory period 
due to sourdough starter regeneration time
Anyway, family reunion thread? 
[–] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Fake: anon knows how to actually make banana bread
Gay: anon imagines a guy's ass

[–] Pipster@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 weeks ago

There's a Viz comic about that...

Fru T. Bunn – a "Master Baker" who makes his own sex dolls out of gingerbread and then attempts to have sex with them. Often he actually succeeds, only to be discovered in the last frame by his wife and daughter (Little Chelsea – ref to the Chelsea Bun)!!

[–] dan69@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

They also make banana cream baked goods

[–] Boomkop3@reddthat.com 5 points 2 weeks ago

Bread is natural?

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago

Calm down, Roko.