A lemmy post of a tumbler repost of a reddit repost.
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this post was submitted on 26 Jun 2025
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Now to screenshot this and post that on Mastodon!
The prophecy has been fulfilled.
You win at interneting for today. Take your prize and log off until tomorrow. Then you can play again.
If it's a black bear, I can just make myself look bigger and scare it away.
If a kitten can draw blood on me and make me wince in pain. I have no hope of upscaling from there.
A 9lb house cat can overpower me, and I'm 6ft, 250lb.
Long story short, the GF's cat gets incredibly sick and has to be fed through a tube. Well one day she gets better and decides that she doesn't want to eat through a tube anymore, and that's when I learned just how strong they are. Literally had to use my all of my strength to keep her from squirming, and she was still managing to break free.
Well, do keep in mind you're being careful to not hurt the cat. Things likely would have been different if you just cared about winning a fight.
There's probably a psychological aspect to it, I have a cat and need to give him oral meds that he hates. I have to grab him and force the dropper in his mouth, and only after months of half the meds dribbling out and the vet chiding me, did I start grabbing his head firmly and shoving the dropper in his maw.
Before that I was too soft and "aw poor little cat".
I could not keep a kitten from biting down on me
It says fight not win a fight. I could probably get a kick or something in as I’m being torn apart
Verbal probably counts. "Fuck you, bear!" should be enough to qualify
Edit: nope, I'm illiterate. It literally says "hand-to-paw" combat. Guess you're catching a paw, buddy.
P.S. to my edit
I had a substitute teacher in the ~~third~~ fourth grade who told my class about a class trip she took to Yellowstone. She said that while on the trip, her best friend got mauled by a bear. She told us that it took one swipe at her and she was dead or completely unresponsive and then it started wrestling her like a rag-doll. Thus began my lifelong fear of bears.
Not only is that a horrible thing to happen to a child on a class trip, it’s a horrible thing to tell a room full of nine year olds. My grandmother told me a graphic story about a roommate who lost an eye that has haunted me since.
Also, your edit made me wonder if I’m fundamentally dishonest, because it literally wouldn’t even occur to me to correct myself from the third to fourth grade while retelling an anecdote, even in person to close friends, unless it were about something with a date attached. I just figure that approximations are a part of life and it’s not that important, but I’m now asking myself if that’s the sort of thing I should correct and if I’ve been unintentionally (ish?) lying to everyone.
Edit: as evidence, I realized that I fucking did it in this comment. It was a nun at the convent my grandmother lived in for a while, and they were similar ages, so they were friends. That’s a complicated relationship for a throwaway comment and it creates space for a lot of follow up questions, so I streamlined it to roommate.
As long as the fudged details don't materially change the relationship between the anecdote and the point, I don't think it's a big deal.
Like whether it was grade 3 or 4 doesn't really matter, but if it was the teacher telling the story or a classmate recounting the tales of his summer up with his uncle in Canada and they couldn't retrieve the body because they ended up in a motorcycle fight with a band of ninjas, I'd say that's a bigger deal.
Because why would he leave out the ninja fight bit, that part is metal!
Because why would he leave out the ninja fight bit, that part is metal!
Because I'm an asshole of epic proportions. That's MY ninja story and I'm gonna make sure that you don't get to hear it!
So we're thinking that 6% of survey responders could be extremely pedantic instead of overconfident idiots?
Little of both I’m sure
Everyone can ______, but only once.
Bears also have very thick hides and bones
I didn’t say the bear would feel it lol
It would hurt them emotionally
They are technically correct,
which is the best kind of correct.
Ending your sentence on a comma should be a crime. It leaves that unfinished feeling
Funny you should say that -
Probably also lose on the technicality of bringing in the CLAUW
The meme was always “100 men vs 1 grizzly”. And yes we could, as long as I was in the back and could climb over the blood soaked bodies of those in front to confront an exhausted grizzly pinned under the weight of mutilated corpses.
Then you notice the white powder covering the bear's face and realize you've made a grave mistake.
What’s so funny
“Apex predator, high on cocaine, and you’re going toward it.”
I could fight a brown bear. I wouldn't win and would probably die in seconds, but I could still fight it
I'm told that a black bear won't bother to kill you before eating you. They don't give a shit. Once they start eating, they can't be scared off. They'll go for your meatiest bits first. Legs, then abdomen.
I didn't need that picture, and now you have it too.
I think you mean grizzly bear. Black bears are usually more timid, although I still wouldn’t try to mess with one.
No, black bears. Specifically the more wild ones up north but the raccoon ones will also mess you up pretty good.
Racoon ones have an instinct to go for the eyes and the face.
Kinda the same way cats have an instinct to slap everything that moves.
I could understand maybe a black bear if the person in question was huge, but you cant win against a grizzly in any world without a weapon.
They're probably not in trouble unless they run into an actual bear. There are certainly many other delusions that are much more dangerous.
If it really happened, instinct would kick in and they'd hide in a car or something.
There is always a chance it gets bored after it mauls me and leaves just enough for EMS to scrape back together. Thats a win, right? I'd like my chances firing .50 caliber rounds from a helicopter. Yeah, I could probably take 30-50 feral black bears if they attacked my family :3