this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2025
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Off My Chest

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My fiancée does not know how to order off a menu. Actually she does, she doesn't care to order from a menu like most people do.

Going out to eat with her is pretty much an hour long ordeal of me gritting my teeth while she racks up a bill 3x mine, all while trying nicely to steer her to just one item. She'll open the menu, get overwhelmed with options, and end up ordering a la carte from places that do not work that way, asking for endless substitutions and upcharges. As an example, at a restaraunt, she might not be able to decide between a burger or chicken tenders, so she'll ask for "a half order" of both of them, then she likes the sound of one specific dipping sauce that comes with another entree so she'll ask for a cup of that, etc. Etc. I'll say something before we go in, she'll promise me she'll just get a water, and then get a water - and a margarita. It's draining. At this point, we go out maybe once pr twice a year unless something forces us out more than that.

The scenario that prompted this rant was that tonight was one of those times. Our bill was $82.10. My entree plus water was $10.99.

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[–] paraphrand@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

If expectations were set ahead of time, this sounds like a lot of fun.

[–] devolution@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

Is the sex good at least? That’s the only reason I can see you staying with her.

[–] JigglySackles@lemmy.world 0 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

This is a red flag. Don't turn fiance to spouse until you really think about this or get her to corrupt it. Never going to dinner will make any future dates exceedingly difficult.

But honestly, if she has this red flag, there are likely a bunch of others you aren't seeing. The level of inconsideration she has to have to let her treat other people this way is exceedingly high. Not just how she's treating the wait staff, but the imposition placed on the cooks, as well as how the experience is affecting you. She's at best extremely thoughtless and inconsiderate.

Edit:or don't, divorce is available later if things bother you bad enough

[–] Xande@discuss.tchncs.de 0 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Run my friend... run fast and do not stop until you're out of her reach!

btw: In restaurants à la carte is the practice of ordering individual dishes from a menu in a restaurant, as opposed to table d'hôte, where a set menu is offered. It is an early 19th century loanword from french meaning "according to the menu". Your fiancee acts like she's the queen.

RUN!

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[–] Today@lemmy.world 0 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I do this - order a la carte and hold stuff. I try to be very nice about it. I don't want a 3 taco plate with rice and beans for $20, only to throw most of it away. I want a la carte one taco and rice. Everytime I get a salad without dressing, a burger without sauce, anything without cheese, etc., it gets questioned. Please stop trying to give me other dressings, different sauces, and cheese on everything. I get menu anxiety and usually check it before we go so I can make a plan, especially if we're dining with people I don't know well. Know that's it's frustrating for her too; extra frustrating if you're calling attention to it.

[–] kernelle@0d.gs 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I might fundamentally disagree with you what a restaurant is. For me it's a place where hard working people get to share their cuisine with you. Most I'll ask at a restaurant is one alteration to one dish.

When I read the OP and your post, a restaurant seems like the place for you to get the perfect meal.

As Beau Miles puts it: "I plan on regretting what I'm eating at least once this week"

[–] Today@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The restaurants I visit usually sell food, not cuisine. Ordering 3x the food I want seems wasteful and expensive. I don't think that skipping cheese (and associated diarrhea) makes it the perfect meal.

[–] kernelle@0d.gs 2 points 1 week ago

Different cultures! Dietary restrictions aren't optional though

[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch -5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

How is this a “good” off my chest?

Edit: Thanks for the downvotes you dumb fucks, way to explain your rationale and simply dismiss people. Real “good,” uplifting community here.

[–] jet@hackertalks.com 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'll explain it:

Someone is asking a question and your being hostile to them - discouraging others to ask questions. So people are sending you a signal that your hostility isn't appreciated

[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 0 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yeah I’m just bailing on this community. Droning on about your psycho partner doesn’t feel “good” to me.

[–] jet@hackertalks.com 3 points 1 week ago

It's a topic that often comes up when people vent. People feel better after they talk about their problems. Hence it feels good to get it off their chest.

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