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How do you get accurate polygraph results when the subject is laughing the entire time?
There is no such thing as accurate polygraph results regardless of the circumstances. They're pseudo-science baloney.
It’s about intimidation, not results.
I mean, unironically, this is what polygraphs exist to accomplish. They aren't reliable instruments and a lot of the "results" boil down to a technician trying to figure out if your heart rate increase or sweaty palms are a result of you lying or the AC in the room not running properly.
By the time someone's decided to strap you into a ploygraph machine, you're already "guilty" in their eyes. They're just looking for an excuse to slam the book on you.
But if anyone knows that already, it’s FBI staff.
Right? If any group would know and understand that polygraphs are bullshit, it's fucking FBI employeees
You don't have to polygraph me, I'm being mean
If I wasn't being mean about my boss beforehand, I would most definitely start being mean after he subjected me to a polygraph about it
When I found out my boss had secret audio listening in the shop is when I started talking true endless shit about him out loud to others. Gonna snoop, find out the truth.
Shitty? Yes. Petty? Also yes.
Trump, kash, hegseth, bongino, bondi. All these idiots are just immature children. We've got people with the mindset of middle school cliques and popularity contests running our government and the most powerful military in the world.
What a sad little coward.
If we don't have splintering factions within our intelligence agencies with people who are actually working to stop the domestic enemies destroying this country, then I've lost the little faith I had left in humanity.
Cops and pseudoscience go together like chocolate and peanut butter.
For more examples, see "bite mark analysis," "911 call analysis," "blood spatter analysis," roadside drug testing with known false-positives, and even fingerprints (once the gold standard) have up to a 20% error rate.
And that's not even getting into how their methodology is exactly backwards: they have a claim that they set out to prove, but do no work to disprove what they already believe.
Blood spatter analysis isn't quite as nonsense as the rest. There are definitely factual conclusions that can be made based on where blood is found and how it is distributed or shaped.
Polygraph tests are an interrogation tool. While the "results" they produce directly are nonsense, they can be used as a lever to pressure a suspect to confess to a crime - with disregard as to whether they actually committed said crime. People who undergo polygraphs are also known to unload new information immediately after the "test" is over.
Remember, police are allowed to lie to you; you are not allowed to lie to the police. Shut the fuck up. Lawyer.
From ProPublica:
The reliability of bloodstain-pattern analysis has never been definitively proven or quantified, but largely due to the testimony of criminalist Herbert MacDonell, it was steadily admitted in court after court around the country in the 1970s and ’80s. MacDonell spent his career teaching weeklong “institutes” in bloodstain-pattern analysis at police departments around the country, training hundreds of officers who, in turn, trained hundreds more.
While there is no index that lists cases in which bloodstain-pattern analysis played a role, state appellate court rulings show that the technique has played a factor in felony cases across the country. Additionally, it has helped send innocent people to prison. From Oregon to Texas to New York, convictions that hinged on the testimony of a bloodstain-pattern analyst have been overturned and the defendants acquitted or the charges dropped.
In 2009, a watershed report commissioned by the National Academy of Sciences cast doubt on the discipline, finding that “the uncertainties associated with bloodstain-pattern analysis are enormous,” and that experts’ opinions were generally “more subjective than scientific.” More than a decade later, few peer-reviewed studies exist, and research that might determine the accuracy of analysts’ findings is close to nonexistent.
Blood spatter analysis isn't quite as nonsense as the rest.
If blood is found underneath an object, you know that the blood got there first, and the object second. If you find a drop of blood among a bunch of fine mist, you may be able to predict that the fine mist is blood from a victim after a gunshot, while the drop might be from someone else, possibly the perpetrator.
Of course there are other observations which are misinterpreted, but the fact remains that blood spatter follows the laws of physics; therefore, it is possible to discover factual information from observing it.
Sure, but that's not what police refer to when they talk about blood spatter analysis. I'm not saying it's impossible to get good evidence from the location of blood; I'm saying that the bullshit they do around drop size and splatter patterns does not have any evidence to support it.
Edit: in other words, they want the credibility of science without doing the hard work of peer-review or falsification.
If I was a the polygrapher I would put unique shapes on the graph after polygraphing this sensitive little moron. "This dick shaped line right here is self explanatory. The problem is you."
Man, murica is overflowing with freedom! The thought police have arrived! So much winning!
If any of the polygraph operators are opposed to Patel, this would be a convenient way to get his actual loyalists fired without evidence.
I need everyone to understand that this isn't new. J. Edgar Hoover was also a chaotic, bizarrely obsessive FBI director who intimidated his staff and thought he could rule with an iron fist. This is just the FBI going back to its roots.
You know what would actually be a good loyalty test for these guys... just print out a bunch of the memes.. like the one that got a guy deported at the airport etc...
Then give a really serious look dead in the eye... and hold them up one by one "DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY???". If the person cannot calmly say "No sir I do not find this amusing at all". Fire them.
Some good examples to use
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GeToI4EXkAE8c0a?format=jpg&name=large
Just because something is funny doesn't mean I agree/disagree.
Well yeah sure if we were talking the obama admin you could have joked around with him... The idea that someone would be denied entrance to the US over a "thanks obama" sticker or something would be laughable and instantly condemned by the president himself if it were a public story.
This is the trump admin though... they are thin skinned to insanity, they could never laugh at themselves, or find humor in something they disagreed with.
Yep. Gross incompetence.
